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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #jesus, #leader, #team leader, #in need, #12 people, #upgrade systems, #lunch meeting, #bed feelings, #savior, #office

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It's pronounced Hay-soos. Jesus: My name is Jesus, and I seek twelve people to work on my project. I am the saver of databases. Join me to upgrade our systems. Jesus: First, we're all going to lunch. Asok: I have a bad feeling about this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #pronouned hay-soos, #fixed eye sight, #hair regrow, #40 shares, #punch pilot light, #ceo, #team organizer

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Pronounced Hay-soos. Wally: The new team leader, Jesus, is gaining quite a following." He fixed my eyesight and made my hair regrow. I think he wants your job as CEO. For forty shares of stock, I could point him out at lunch. CEO: I'll punch his pilot light out!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #jesus, #ratted you out, #finding out, #undoing, #miracle

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Pronounced Hay-Soos Wally: Did you find out who ratted you out, Jesus? FZEET! Wally: Maybe you have a way of finding out that sort of thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2008's comic on:


Tags #jesus, #downsized, #return as consultant, #save pensions, #forgetful boss

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Pronounced Hay-Soos The Boss: Jesus, I thought you got down-sized. Jesus: I came back. Tell the others I was downsized so I could return as a consultant and save their pensions. The Boss: I should have written that down."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2008's comic on:


Tags #asked question, #contempt, #coworkers, #forgot answer, #game plyer, #large group, #paranoid, #suspicious

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Tina: Dilbert asked me a question in front of the entire group that I already answered last week. What kind of game is he playing?" Alice: Maybe he forgot your answer. Tina: That's crazy talk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #soul crushing negativity, #humanity final chapter, #darkness, #anticipating

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Dilbert: That's my plan. Now I'd like to open the floor to your soul-crushing negativity. Jesus: You have written humanity's final chapter!" Tina: Darkness stalks us!" "I'll never know love!" Man: Anticipating it didn't help.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #pessimistic co workers, #crushed soul, #meat clothes, #rain soul, #less fortunate, #volunteering

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Dilbert: My pessimistic coworkers have crushed my soul. Now I am nothing but meat with clothes. Garbageman: You can regain your soul by volunteering to help the less fortunate. Dilbert: Who is less fortunate than me? Garbageman: Anyone you date."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #breaks down, #cries, #date, #endless stories, #huge defects, #restaurant, #series of stoires, #soul crushed

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Dilbert: I look different from my online picture because it was taken before my coworkers crushed my soul. Would you like to hear an endless series of stories about a coworker you don't know?" Date: okay. Dilbert: Really? Gee, you must have some huge defects of your own. Date: I don't deserve to be happy!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2008's comic on:


Tags #smart garbageman, #again soul, #someone less fortunate, #flowers on grave, #grave speaks

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Dilbert: The world's smartest garbage man says I need to help someone less fortunate to regain my soul. Ratbert: Don't look at me. I'm happier than a tickled clam. Dilbert: I brought you some flowers, dead person. Dead person: I don't need 'em I'm good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dried up head, #evil director, #free stuff, #hr, #inquiry, #trouble saying no

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Is there a company sponsored program for regrowing my lost soul? CatBert: No, but I'd be happy to bat your dried-up head until it snaps off. Dilbert: I have trouble saying no to free stuff."