2019 Comic Strips - Page 7

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Links To Articles

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Links To Articles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, internet, Opinion, research

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Dogbert the internet debate coach Dogbert: Always back up your opinion with links to articles. Asok: What if the only links I can find are from non-credible sources? Dogbert: I'll do some research. But I think that's the only kind there is.

Loss Of Libido

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Loss Of Libido - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, doctors, marriage, medicines, relations between the sexes, sex

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Man: My new meds totally eliminated my libido. But my doctor says I need them. Dilbert: Does your wife mind? Man: Not since she started dating my doctor.

Mandatory Training

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Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoidance, office, office workers, sarcasm, training

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Boss: You haven't finished the mandatory compliance training modules. Alice: I'm waiting for a strategic time to do them. Boss: Oh, okay. Want to go to lunch? Alice: I would love to, but I have training modules to do.

Being Like A Man

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Being Like A Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags advertising, business, criticism, men and women, relations between the sexes, sales

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Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.

Have To Think About It

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Have To Think About It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, idea, managers & supervisors, office, office workers

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Dilbert: Do you like my idea? Boss: I need to think about it. Dilbert: You mean you plan to wait a few weeks and then act as if it was your idea? Boss: Now that idea I like right away.

Dilbert And Brainwashing

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Dilbert And Brainwashing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoidance, employees, office, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: Why is your employee engagement so low? Dilbert: Because I'm relatively immune to brainwashing. Boss: Okay, I didn't think you knew.

Asok's Employee Engagement

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Asok's Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, managers & supervisors, office workers, work, attitude, expectations

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Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.

Employee Engagement Is Up

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Employee Engagement Is Up - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, managers & supervisors, obliviousness, questions, data, measurement

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Boss: And I've improved employee engagement by nineteen percent. CEO: What is employee engagement? Boss: I'm not entirely sure. CEO: Then how do you measure it? Boss: Honestly, I wasn't expecting a lot of questions.

Dogbert's Self Defense School

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Dogbert's Self Defense School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, enemies, murder, office workers, training, manipulation, defense

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's school of unconventional self-defense. I'm handing out a list of my personal enemies. Your homework is to kill them before sunrise. Voice: That isn't self-defense. Dogbert: Wow. All you can think about is you, you, you.

My Last Company

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My Last Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, employees, employment, office, office workers

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Man: That's not the way we did it at my last company. Dilbert: Now I hate you and I don't want to interact with you in any way in the future. Man: Okay, that sounds just like my last company.