985 Water Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for 985 water comic strips. Discover the best "985 Water" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2006's comic on:


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"The new employee at work is hot, and she's getting special treatment. How can I get rid of her?" "Water finds its own level. She'll leave within a week." "They say that most people meet their future spouses at work." erk!

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Dogbert's tech support "Try turning off your router, your modem, and your computer." "Now turn off your air conditioning, your lights, and your water heater. Unplug your microwave and defrost your refrigerator." "You're very thorough." "Cancel your garbage service, renounce your citizenship, and yank out your phone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #rebel negotiation, #table, #room water, #pool, #senior discount, #observational humour, #high price

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Rebel negotiations Dilbert: "Your price to not attack our Elbonian factory is too high." Elbonian: "We can give you the senior citizen discount." *snort* Dilbert: "That's just mean." Elbonian: "Sorry. I'll switch to more observational humor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2007's comic on:


Tags #public relations, #marketing claims, #tap water, #unleaded gasoline, #reanimate the dead, #lousy job, #job easier

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Dogbert, VP of marketing PR: "As head of public relations, it will be my job to explain your marketing claims." Dogbert: "So?" PR: "You claim our product can turn tap water into unleaded gasoline and reanimate the dead." Dogbert: "Are you asking my to do a lousy job of marketing just so your job is easier?" PR: "Um..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2007's comic on:


Tags #security consulatant, #without id, #badge, #strip search, #confiscate wallet, #lock him janitors closet, #extreme, #living on mop water

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Dogbert the security consultant Dogbert: "If you see someone without an ID badge..." "...Strip search him, confiscate his wallet, and lock him in the janitor's closet until he starves!" The boss: "That seems a bit extreme." Dogbert: "You're about one minute away from living on mop water."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2008's comic on:


Tags #alternative fuel divison, #oil into watwer, #uninhabitable wasteland, #water into fuel

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The Boss: Our alternative fuel division has found a way to turn fresh water into fuel! Dilbert: Wouldn't that turn the world into an uninhabitable wasteland in the long run? The Boss: Not if someone finds a way to turn oil into water.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #fixed satellite, #surround sound, #water filter, #dates fix it guys

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Dilbert says, "I fixed your satellite dish connection and tuned your surround sound system. Now can we go on our date?" A womany says, "That was our date. In ten minutes I'm dating a guy who will replace the water filter in my refrigerator." Dilbert says, "I can do that." A woman says, "You're welcome to stay and fight him for it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #albanian inflation, #billion percent, #fetid water, #hyper inflation

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Elbonian inflation reaches a billion percent, daily An Elbonian says, "Is this enough for a small?" $ Fetid water! Another Elbonian says, "A minute ago, yes. Now it costs a hundred times more." The first Elbonian says, "Problem solved."

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Share September 27, 2008's comic on:


Tags #director of green, #pumping toxic waste, #water supply, #giant mutated alliagtor, #destroyed factory, #competitors factory, #karma discredited, #pollute

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Director of Green Andy says, "We've been pumping toxic waste into the water supply for years." Andy says, "yesterday, a giant, mutated alligator destroyed our only competitor's factory." The CEO says, "Now that karma has been discredited, what else can we pollute?" Andy says, "The sky's the limit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #questions, #business, #reasoning, #thinking, #plants

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Dilbert says, "You're watering a plastic plant." man says, "yes, I am." Dilbert says, "Why?" man says, "Funny story." Many says, "Your boss replaced the live plants with plastic ones to save money." man says, "My company has the contract to water your office plants." Man says, "No one ever cancelled our contract." Man says, "Now my career is less important than a gnat's toot in a hurricane." man says, "But it's still way better than sitting in a fabric-covered box all day." Dilbert thinks, "I need to stop talking to people."