Against Optimism Comic Strips - Page 7

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194 Results for Against Optimism

View 61 - 70 results for against optimism comic strips. Discover the best "Against Optimism" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #improve moral, #prescribing anti depressants, #unwarranted optimism, #dead end job, #pills, #hr prescribed drugs, #employees happiness

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Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "Human resources is prescribing powerful antidepressants to improve morale." Alice continues, "The label says it may cause 'unwarranted optimism about you dead-end job.'" Wally, "I gotta get me some of that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fertility drugs, #coffee, #tabloids, #million dollars, #doctor, #agent, #Advice, #medical

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Wally looking at a bloated Dilbert. Dilbert says, "My dog put fertility drugs in my coffee." Dilbert continues, "At first I was mad. Then the tabloids offered me a million dollars for my story." Wally inquires, "Have you seen a doctor?" Dilbert replies, "My agent advises against that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #couch, #living room, #conversation, #gaps in conversation, #fill in gaps, #random

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Ratbert and Dogbert are on the couch. Dogbert holds a remote control and leans against a cushion. Ratbert says, "Do you mind if I fill the gaps in our conversation with random observations?" Dogbert says, "No." Ratbert says, "So, you got a little pillow there, eh? Eh?" Ratbert says, "When I say, "Eh?", that's your cue to answer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ann, #dilbert makes bet, #hair on fire, #curses, #super natural powers, #harms coworkers

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Dilbert and Ted stand behind Ann. Dilbert holds out a match. Dilbert says, "Ann, I made a bet with Ted that you could ignite this match by swearing at it." Ann screams at Ted, "How dare you bet against me, Ted, you #%!!*!" Ted's hair light on fire. Dilbert looks at the match. Dilbert says, "Dang! How about double or nothing!" Ted is now a smoking skull. Ted says, "I want my dollar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lawsuit, #against company, #truth, #usual engineering, #no one understands, #whistleblower, #sound the same

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The boss stands behind Dilbert's cubicle. The boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to testify in the lawsuit against our company." The boss says, "Tell the truth, but do it in your usual engineering way so that no one understands you." Dilbert says, "Actually, I've decidedd to be a whistle-blower." The boss says, "Whatever. It'll all sound the same!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fake rubber babies, #chick magnet, #stupid fly, #tough love

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Dilbert walks in apark holding two plastic babies. A girl walks by Dilbert with a heart over her head. Dilbert thinks, "These fake rubber babies will make me a chick magnet." A fly bzzz past. Dilbert hits the fly against a tree with one of the babies. Dilbert thinks, "Stupid fly." The women looks horrified. Dilbert says, "It's tough love."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dont understand, #follow a process, #failed thirty times, #optimism

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Dilbert stands at desk of The Boss and says, "Here's what I don't understand..." Dilbert says, "You just asked me to follow a process that has failed thirty times in a row and you know it." Dilbert says, "At what point can this no longer be called 'optimism'?" The Boss says, "When it succeeds?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #exceeded disk sapce, #one week, #no email, #engineer, #survive, #modem taped ankle, #engineering

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Mordac, arms spread in exclamation, says to a seated Dilbert, "I am Mordac, the preventer of information services!!" Mordac points at Dilbert and says, "You have exceeded your allocation of disk space on the server!" Mordac says, "I sentence you to one week without e-mail." Dilbert says, "No problem." Mordac says, "No problem? How can an engineer survive without e-mail?" Mordac points to the wall and says, "UP AGAINST THE WALL!!" Mordac frisks Dilbert and says, "WHERE IS IT? Dilbert says to Dogbert, "He found the modem taped to my ankle but he missed my wireless pen modem." loremipsum

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astrol projection, #try at meeting, #switch chairs

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Wally is holding up a book and walking with Dilbert and says: "I found a book about astral projection." Wally walks into a meeting room, followed by Dilbert, and says:"I'm gonna try this during our meeting." Wally is sitting at the meeting between two women grinding his teeth and hitting his fists against the table. One of the women says: "Does anyone want to switch chairs?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cynics annonymous, #fluorescent lights, #higher power, #naive optimism, #perfect emplyee

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Catbert tells Dilbert: "Dilbert, you've become too aware of reality. I'm sending you to 'Cynics Anonymous.'" Catbert continues: "A higher power will help you regain the naive optimism that once made you a perfect employee." Dilbert says: "Why can't the higher power change me while I'm sitting here?" Catbert answers: "Fluorescent lights block his power."