Boss Comic Strips - Page 7
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Character
1000 Results for Boss
View 61 - 70 results for boss comic strips. Discover the best "Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 20,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #unnatural, #magnificent, #puppet, #buy, #us, #customer, #memorize
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and another employee, "We're making a company commercial. Memorize these lines." Dilbert reads, "I'm Wally! I was specially bred to serve you and take abuse, O magnificent customer." Dilbert says, "It sounds a little unnatural." The woman reads, "I'm Raquel. I'll be your love puppet if you buy from us."
Monday October 21,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #wearing, #undewear, #fired, #company, #layoff, #plan, #generous, #leave, #freedom, #local, #management, #dealing
Transcript
Dilbert says to Wally, "Uh . . . Wally, you're wearing only underwear at work." Wally says, "I'm trying to get fired." Wally explains as the Boss approaches, "The company layoff plan is very generous. I'll get a big pile of money if they ask me to leave." Wally puts his boxer shorts on the Boss's head and says, "This has given me a degree of freedom in dealing with local management."
Tuesday October 22,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #severance, #package, #krazy, #glued, #farm, #animals, #still, #boss, #deal, #bureaucracy, #fire, #meeting, #run, #long, #animal, #behavior, #the boss
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and a man sit at a conference table. Dilbert asks Wally, "Any luck trying to get fired?" Wally replies, "No . . But I'll get that severance package yet." Wally continues, "This morning I Krazy-glued farm animals to the Boss, but he STILL won't deal with all the bureaucracy to fire me." The Boss has a chicken glued to his head and a pig and a cow glued to each arm. The Boss says, "The staff meeting may run a little long today."
Friday October 25,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #customers, #consultant, #tom peters, #follows, #around, #passionate, #criticism, #splitter, #customer
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We've got to focus more on the needs of our customers." The Boss points to a man standing next to him and says, "I've hired famous business consultant Tom Peters to follow you around and make passionate criticism." Tom stands behind Dilbert while he works. Tom waves his arms as he asks, "Is this quality? Are you truly focused on the customer?" Dilbert thinks, "Great . . . He's a spitter."
Monday November 18,
1991
Tags #ceo, #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #announcing, #staff, #reduction, #expenses, #paid, #year, #risky, #cut
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and a woman, "Our CEO is announcing a ten-percent staff reduction to cut expenses." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: didn't our CEO get paid twenty million dollars this year?" The Boss replies, "Yes . . ." The Boss continues, "But risky jobs deserve higher pay." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: didn't you say WE were getting cut?"
Tuesday November 19,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #staff, #cuts, #dart, #chart, #blind folded, #slayed, #johnson, #decisive, #management
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and two other employees, "The staff cuts will be determined by tossing a dart at the organization chart while blindfolded." The Boss puts on a blindfold and throws the dart. Someone screams. A woman says, "You slayed Johnson!" The Boss replies, "Boy, talk about decisive management!"
Thursday November 21,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #profits, #low, #training, #class, #cute, #jumpy
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, profits are too low. I've got to let you go . . ." Dilbert says, "What!!" The Boss continues, ". . . To a training class." The Boss walks away thinking, "They're so cute when they get jumpy."
Sunday December 01,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #presentation, #tomorrow, #status, #project, #review, #yesterday, #analytical, #stuff
Transcript
The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Dilbert, do a presentation for the big boss tomorrow morning on the status of your project." Dilbert replies, "There isn't any status. You only assigned the project an hour ago." The Boss says, "Well then, do a presentation on why there's no status." Dilbert replies, "I don't have time before tomorrow morning." The Boss says, "Okay, then just do a presentation on why there's no time to do a presentation of the status." The Boss adds, "And I want to review it two days before you present it." Dilbert replies, "That would be yesterday." Dilbert asks, "Should I do a presentation on why tomorrow is less than two days from today?" The Boss replies, "Hmm . . . good. The boss likes that analytical stuff."
Monday December 02,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #coworker, #the boss, #zimbu, #monkey, #zoo, #keepers, #special, #program, #insult, #intelligence, #workers
Transcript
The Boss points to a monkey and says, "Dilbert, your new co-worker is Zimbu the Monkey." The Boss says, "Zimbu learned English from the zoo keepers in a special program." Dilbert says, "This monkey is an insult to the intelligence of the other workers and I!" Zimbu corrects Dilbert, "Other workers and 'me,' not 'I.'"
Monday December 23,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #emplopyees, #empowered, #decisions, #empowerment, #concept, #productive, #fired, #work
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and another employee, "From now on, all employees are empowered to make their own decisions." The Boss continues, "Empowerment is the concept of the nineties. You'll be happier and more productive." Wally says, "You're fired, Dilbert." Dilbert replies, "No, YOU are!" The woman says, "I'll never work hard again!"