Confused Comic Strips - Page 7
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79 Results for Confused
View 61 - 70 results for confused comic strips. Discover the best "Confused" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 08,
2011
Tags business ethics, suspicion, features for product, overstaffed, spare time, job description, healthy raise, highest performance rating
Transcript
Dilbert: In my spare time I created some awesome new features for our product. Boss: GAAA!!! Shut the door! Dilbert: What?!! Boss: You fool! If my boss finds out you have spare time, he'll think we're overstaffed! You can never speak of these awesome new features again. Dilbert: I'm confused. You told me I need to go above and beyond my job description to get the highest performance rating. Boss: That's just something I say to keep you from getting a healthy raise. Dilbert: So... I lose no matter what I do? Boss: For what it's worth, you're doing better than our customers.
Saturday May 21,
2011
Tags consensus, lost and confused, lateness, doesn't work
Transcript
Dilbert: There was a consensus in that room that you're not important, so we started without you. we hate you for disrespecting us with your lateness and we expect you'll be lost and confused by th rest of this meeting. Alice: in summary, lateness is one of those things that doesn't work for everyone.
Tuesday September 20,
2011
Tags commerce, joking, market share, increase market share, good sense of humor
Transcript
CEO: Our strategy is to increase market share. Dilbert: I'm confused. I spent all last year trying to decrease our market share. Was that effort wasted? Don't worry. Wally told me he has a good sense of humor. Wally: I'm not reliable.
Friday September 30,
2011
Tags deception, hypocrisy, open door policy, suggestions, not importnat, extra work
Transcript
Boss: Thanks for the suggestion, Asok. I'm going to ignore it because you're not important to my career and I don't like doing extra work. Asok: I'm confused. Why do you have an open-door policy? Boss: How can you leave if the door isn't open?
Thursday December 08,
2011
Tags conversation, internet & world wide web, seattle, quick meeting, stone age tribe, skype, never used, why fly, telecommunte, airplane
Transcript
Boss: I need you to fly to Seattle for a quick meeting. Dilbert: Will I be meeting with a newly discovered Stone Age tribe that has never used Skype? Boss: No. Dilbert: Then I'm totally confused.
Tuesday January 10,
2012
Tags competition (psychology), fish & aquatic mammals, complaints, shark, doplphon, robot, patrol, waters
Transcript
Boss: I'm hearing some complaints that you built a robot shark to patrol the soc-called territorial waters around your cubicle. Alice: It's a robot dolphin. I can see how people might be confused. I need you to smile more. Shark: Whatever.
Tuesday April 09,
2013
Wednesday October 29,
2014
Tags morning, morning people, sleepiness, sleepy, waking up, prodcutive, early, brushed teeth, face cream, confused
Transcript
Alice: I'm trying to turn myself into a morning person so I can be more productive. I've been getting up at 4:30 every day, and so far, so good. Dilbert: So... no problems at all? Alice: Nothing huge. I've brushed my teeth with face cream a few times.
Saturday March 26,
2016
Simplify The Slide
Tags intelligence, insult, smart, dumb, powerpoint, guest artist, joel friday
Transcript
Boss: You need to simplify that slide. Dilbert: Did you understand it? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Then why do you think smart people will be confused? Boss: I can't tell if that was an insult. Dilbert: Ask a smart person.


