Dead Person Comic Strips - Page 7

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398 Results for Dead Person

View 61 - 70 results for dead person comic strips. Discover the best "Dead Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #elbonian men, #presentation, #quality management

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Dilbert points to a visual aid and says, "The fishbone diagram helps identify the root cause of problems." Dilbert continues as three Elbonians listen, "In your case, the root problem seems to be that you're a nation of imbeciles . . ." An Elbonian says, "True, but YOU'RE the one who had to draw a dead fish to figure it out." Another man says, "You're in the club! Here's your hat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1993's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #outdoors, #activity

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Dogbert sits on his pillow. Ratbert says, "I can't remember if I'm left-handed or right-handed." Ratbert says, "I live in fear that I'll be walking in the park, someone will toss me a ball and I'll look . . . awkward." Ratbert lies underneath a ball. The person who threw the ball says, "Nice catch, rat." Ratbert asks, "Really? It didn't look awkward?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1993's comic on:


Tags #karoshi, #Wally, #Dilbert, #the boss, #business meeting, #japanese, #worklife balance

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The Boos, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called karoshi." The Boss continues, "I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department." The Boss continues, "The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #christmas, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #office, #computer, #shopping

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Dilbert sits at his desk and Dogbert sits on the edge of the desk. Dogbert says, "How can this be the season of good cheer when I don't even have my gifts yet?" Dogbert continues, "I mean, what if you get me something stupid? I'll hate you forever and have to run away." Dilbert says, "Your psychology won't work this year. I will not buy more gifts." Dogbert says, "You'll probably find me dead in some snow bank."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #conquer, #building, #Religion, #life, #calculate, #spreadsheet, #law, #students, #zero, #bar

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair. Dogbert tells Dilbert, "I can't decide if it would be better to conquer the world by building an army or starting a religion." Dilbert asks, "Which one would have the least loss of life?" Dogbert replies, "That's what I'm trying to calculate on this spreadsheet." Dilbert asks, "Why are you counting law students as two-tenths of a person?" Dogbert replies, "It doesn't drop to zero until they pass the bar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #large dart, #preservation, #spotted chipmunk, #tranquilize male, #write newsletter, #dead chipmunk, #jokes

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Dilbert: I joined the spotted chipmunk preservation society. We're going to tranquilize the last known male and unite it with a female. Wally: There he is! POW! THUNK! Wally: When you think about it, thats an awfully large dart to use on a chipmunk. woman: Its Dilberts turn to write the newsletter. Dogbert: Trust me, Humor is the way to go, It eases tension. Dilbert: Yeah, but the whole issue of dead chipmunk jokes?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 1994's comic on:


Tags #potluck lunch, #bring bags, #salt, #ice, #beverage, #mineral water

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Alice: We've reached a new low in the 'potluck lunch' sign-up. Twelve people signed up to bring bags of ice and one person is bringing slat. I need one of you at least bring a beverage. Wally: Put me down for one bag of sparkling mineral water.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1994's comic on:


Tags #lunch date, #rejction, #says she's dead, #seeing an illusion

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Tina: Lunch? With you? I'd love to but...uh... Tina: Im clinically dead, what you see are merely the last involuntary spasms before I stiffen. Dilbert: I have a hand truck. Tina: this was a very bad idea.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #book publishing, #reject people, #dismiss lifes work, #gesture, #witty comment, #not a people person, #dog, #animals

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"I'm going to start my own book publishing company so I can reject people all day long." "I'll dismiss their life's work with a gesture and a witty comment." "Bottom line, I'm just not a people person." "I've noticed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #does not meet needs, #publishing needs, #plot was lame, #hated characters, #association, #insulting author, #mean publisher, #insulting publisher

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"Dogbert the Publisher" "Dear Tim, your book does not meet our current publishing needs." "Your plot was lame and I hated your characters. And by association I have come to hate you too." "For safety reasons, I hired an illiterate person to rip up your manuscript. I would use the return envelope you provided but I'm afraid you might have licked the stamps."