Deliver Big Report Comic Strips - Page 7

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494 Results for Deliver Big Report

View 61 - 70 results for deliver big report comic strips. Discover the best "Deliver Big Report" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1992's comic on:


Tags #god, #language, #report, #Dilbert, #tim, #monkey, #incan, #awful, #write, #lucky, #translate

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Dilbert says to Tim, "Gee, Tim, you look awful." Tim replies, "I've been working for five days without any sleep to finish this report." Tim's clothes are disheveled and he has circles under his eyes. Tim continues, "At first I had a mental block. But on the fourth day I was visited by an Incan monkey god who told me what to write." Dilbert replies, "Wow, lucky break." Tim says, "Now I just have to find somebody who can translate his simple but beautiful language."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bills', #big, #egg-shaped, #men's fashion, #clothes, #statement, #sweater, #brown

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Dilbert walks into "Bill's Big 'N' Egg-Shaped Men's Fashions." A sign in the window says, "Specializing in the ovoid man." Dilbert says to the salesclerk, "I want to some clothes that make a statement." The clerk responds, "All our clothes make a statement." The salesperson hands Dilbert a sweater and says, "This sweater says 'Help me, help me, I look like a big egg!'" Dilbert asks, "Does it come in brown?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #looking, #hit, #man, #eliminate, #inventor, #million, #dollars, #deliver, #head, #platter, #tupperware, #lettuce, #crispers, #loses, #drama

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Dogbert sits across from a man behind a desk. Dogbert says, "I heard you're looking for a hit man to eliminate an inventor named Dilbert." Dogbert continues, "For a million dollars I can deliver his head on a platter." The man asks, "Does it have to be on a platter?" Dogbert replies, "I've tried using those Tupperware lettuce crispers, but it loses a lot of the drama."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #doctor, #suck, #doctors, #needles, #practically, #careers, #opportunity, #stapler

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a doctor." Dogbert continues, "People have to suck up to doctors, otherwise they stick big needles into your body for practically no reason at all." Dogbert continues, "A lot of careers don't offer that kind of opportunity." Dilbert replies, "Yeah, it's not the same with a stapler."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #floyd, #co-wokers, #fed, #attitude, #kill, #dres, #quarterly, #accomplishment, #report

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Dilbert stands in front of Floyd's desk and says, "I've got to tell you, Floyd, that your co-workers are so fed up with your attitude that they asked me to . . . Uh . . . Kill you." Floyd screams, "What??!" Dilbert says, "Heh-heh . . . Of course there's no way I'd actually . . ." Floyd grabs his throat and says, "Erk! Mmph . . ." Floyd falls off his chair. Dilbert thinks, "I'm really going to have to dress this up on my quarterly accomplishment report."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #testing, #growth, #formula, #lab, #giant, #miffed, #sarcasm, #witty, #rat

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Ratbert sits on the hassock. Ratbert says, "I'm testing a growth formula at the lab." Dilbert replies, "I'm so happy. I've often thought that the only thing better than a rat in the house is a GIANT rat in the house." Ratbert says, "Yesterday I would have been miffed at your sarcasm. But that wouldn't be 'big' of me." Dilbert says, "Better yet, a giant, WITTY rat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #report, #utilize, #facilitate, #replace, #implementation, #phase, #readable, #fax, #type, #size

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The Boss sits at his desk reading a report while Dilbert stands waiting. The Boss says, "Good report, but change the word 'use' to 'utilize' in each case." The Boss continues, "Change 'help' to 'facilitate' and replace 'do' with 'implementation phase.'" The Boss continues, "Hmm . . . It's still a bit too readable." Dilbert replies, "I could reduce the type size and run it through the fax."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #calculated, #theory, #big bang, #phhbwt, #practical, #applications, #little phhbwt, #sound

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Dogbert sits on his pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert says, "It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe." Dilbert continues, "According to my calculations it didn't start with a 'big bang' at all - it was more of a 'phhbwt' sound." Dilbert continues, "You may be wondering about the practical applications of the 'Little Phhbwt' theory." Dogbert replies, "I was wondering when you'll go away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #s.e.w.l.t.u.i.f.e, #lay dog, #society, #engineers, #initials, #everything, #acronyms, #unwashed, #masses, #technology, #b.f.d., #big furry deal

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Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I'm joining the S.E.W.L.T.U.I.F.E." Dilbert explains, "To the lay dog, it's known as the 'Society of Engineers Who Like to Use Initials for Everything.'" Dilbert continues, "We use acronyms to set us apart from the unwashed masses who don't understand technology." Dogbert replies, "B.F.D." The caption translates Dogbert's comment as "Big Furry Deal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #objections, #Funny, #faces, #rambling, #monthly, #daily, #the boss, #Wally, #meetings

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Dilbert, Wally, Alice, the Boss and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "If there are no objections, I'd like to make funny faces and tell a long rambling story." Ted continues, ". . . So, then I said 'You want the MONTHLY report, not the DAILY report.' . . . But that got me thinking . . . So . . ." Ted says, "Blah blah blah" and waves his arms. The Boss thinks, "I can top that."