Demands Lower Prices Comic Strips - Page 7

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116 Results for Demands Lower Prices

View 61 - 70 results for demands lower prices comic strips. Discover the best "Demands Lower Prices" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #financial troll, #demands lower prices, #shopping, #walgetco

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Financial troll: "Every time we cut costs, our distributor, Walgetco, takes the gain by demanding lower prices." The Boss: "Thank you for shopping at Walgetco! Have a nice day!" Financial Troll "Maybe it's too late." The boss: "Troll accessories are on aisle six!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #project caribou, #new chip, #prorc, #muskrat project, #project meerkat, #names of projects, #too similar

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"We need more staff for prject Cribou.' "No. You're thinking of project Caribbean." "Caribou is like project muskrat but with lower P.R.O.R.C." "P.R.O.R.C?" "Projected return on research capital." "Is muskrat the enterprise software project?" "Um... No... That would be project muskrat." "Cancel project musk ox, move the staff over to project zebra, delay panda and sdquirrel and give me a status report on probosics monkey." "We don't have any projects with those names." "How's that my fault?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #rated good, #you're not good, #company policy, #fire anyone, #hiring freeze, #get paid

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The Boss: "Wally, I'm rating you "good" but not because you are." "Company policy says I have to fire anyone rated lower than good, and the hiring freeze means it would shrink my empire." "So you can get paid for doing nothing as long as you don't kill anyone." wally: "I can't promise that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2006's comic on:


Tags #important sales call, #secret weapon, #ed from sales, #prices identical, #engineering staff, #competitor, #employs loser, #act surprised

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"I need you to accompany me on an important sales call." "Me?" "You're my secret weapon." "Well, okay." "What's your name?" "I'm Ed, from sales." "Only two companies make this type of product. The prices are identical." "The difference is that our engineering staff brings genius and innovation to everything it touches." "Whereas my competitor employs this loser." "Really? I wondered why you didn't look familiar." "Sold!" "You helped make a sale?" "Why does everyone act all surprised?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2006's comic on:


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Google Headquarters "Isn't it a little bit evil to kill Dilbert with our death ray?" "Good point...What if I just blast the space station out of orbit and make it land on his house?" "I'll bet you ten billion dollars you can't." "And the lower has to introduce himself as 'the dumb one.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2006's comic on:


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Is it more important to follow our documented process or to meet the deadline? "I only ask because our deadline is arbitrary and our documented process was pulled out of someone's lower torso." "Where's your artificial sense of urgency?" "Teamwork killed it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2006's comic on:


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I found a family of squirrels living inside our legacy system. "They control our payroll database. They're making demands." "Leave the acorns and no one will get their deductions increased."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2006's comic on:


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I'll ask the vendor for ballpark prices to see if the idea is feasible. "You can't talk with vendors until our change control board approves the project." "But that would require a cost-benefit analysis." "And I can't do that without ballpark prices from the vendor." "Just take your best guess." "So...I should make up a number so I can get approval to make a phone call and ask what the number should have been?" "Right. But first you need to get my approval to do the cost-benefit analysis." "Will you approve it?" "I'd have to see the numbers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2007's comic on:


Tags #vacation schedule, #cost estimates, #teds input, #revised timeline, #office supplies, #store, #pens, #limited selction, #excellent prices, #vacation next week

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Wally: "May I see the vacation schedule?" Carol: "Why do you want it?" Wally: "No reason." "Well, Ted, I hope you're enjoying your vacation." The Boss: "Wally, do you have the cost estimates?" Wally: "I'm waiting for Ted's input. He's on vacation." The Boss: "How about the revised time-line?" Wally: "I'm waiting for Ted." "Do you need any office supplies? I'm going to the store." Dilbert: "Maybe some pens." TED Wally: "Limited selection but excellent prices." Dilbert: "Thanks." Wally: "So, I understand you have a vacation next week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dress code, #office, #office workers, #company shirts, #casual freidays, #lower self esteem, #stop complaining, #industry average, #feel overpaid

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Catbert: I modified the dress code to require wearing company shirts on casual Fridays. That should lower our employees' self-esteem until they stop complaining about earning less than the industry average. Dilbert: Why do I feel overpaid today?