Drink Coffee Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

398 Results for Drink Coffee

View 61 - 70 results for drink coffee comic strips. Discover the best "Drink Coffee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appliances, lewd condcut, plea bargain, plead guilty, stealing computer, mr coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table wearing handcuffs. Dogbert sits next to him. A lawyer says, "You're accused of stealing a computer. We'll reduce the charge to 'lewd conduct with appliances' if you'll plead guilty." Dilbert tells Dogbert, "That sounds fair. People will understand it's just a plea bargain." Wally enters the office kitchen and asks Dilbert, "Would you like a minute alone with 'Mr. Coffee'?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new org chart, graphical lay out, mentor

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "The new org chart has my name lower than yours, but it doesn't mean anything." Dilbert shows Wally the chart and says, "See? It wouldn't all fit across the page. It's just a graphical layout thing, that's all." Alice holds out her coffee mug and says, "Hey, Dil-boy, put a head on this and fetch my mail." Wally asks Dilbert, "Are you asking me to be your mentor?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags success at work, coffee cup, document, whats in hands, binder, cigarette, good or bad

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert tells Dilbert, "Your success at work depends on what you have in your hands when you walk around." Dogbert continues, "A coffee cup is bad. A document is good. A cigarette is bad. A binder is good. But the very worst thing . . ." Dilbert meets Wally in the hallway. Wally carries a coffee mug and a newspaper. Dilbert says, "It doesn't look like you're heading for the fast track, Wally." Wally replies, "Actually, I am, unless it's occupied."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags carl, cubicle dwellers, hard worker, coffee cup, walk around, downsized, co workers resntment, snarky

View Transcript

Transcript

A man walks down the hall thinking, "I am Carl, the cubicle dwellers' friend." Carl thinks, "I travel from cubicle to cubicle to tell people how hard I'm working." Carl stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I am working so-o-o-o hard. Work, work, work. It's all I do." Dilbert asks, "How is that possible?" Dilbert continues, "You walk around all day with that coffee cup resting on your belly." Dilbert asks, "Does your job description say 'transport coffee cup on belly'?" Carl walks away thinking, "He's a terrible conversationalist." Dilbert asks, "How many miles per gallon do you get?" Alice asks Carl, "Hypothetically, if you were downsized, how would the cup get around?" Carl thinks, "What's wrong with these people?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brought dilbert, competitors product, cover cost, cup of coffee, makes product special, visiting the customer, deceptive advertising

View Transcript

Transcript

Kenny and Dilbert sit at a conference table with a customer. Kenny tells the man, "I brought Dilbert to explain what makes our product special." Dilbert says, "It's exactly like our competitor's product except we charge more to cover the cost of our deceptive advertising." The man gets up and leaves the room. Dilbert says, "While you're up, could you get me a cup of coffee?" Kenny looks angry.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brilliant advice, few points, iq points, not harder, people, pillow gone, smarter, speak latin, wally dream, wanting to, working in dump, work smarter

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally lies in bed dreaming. In his dream, he says to The Boss, "Hey, Pointy-Hair!" Wally says, "Thanks for the brilliant advice that I should, 'Work smarter, not harder.'" Wally continues, "I didn't realize people could become smarter just by wanting to." Wally groans and his head begins to bulge. He says, "Watch me add a few IQ points right now!" The Boss looks wide eyed. Wally says, "Wow! Suddenly, I can speak Latin!" Wally groans some more, "Let's crank it up a few more points." Wally's head is humongous. He says, "Why am I working in this dump? I should be a consultant." The dream over, Wally is at work holding a coffee cup. His head remains humongous. He says to Dilbert, "When I woke up, my pillow was gone." Dilbert says, "Oh wow. You woke up in the wrong joke."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags agenda, ubr, first job, crash dummies, spent a fortune, unfocused boss rambling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert passes out paper to The Boss and Wally. The boss has a pencil and Wally has a coffee mug. Dilbert says, "Here's the agenda. The first hour will be U.B.R., as usual." The Boss sits at the conference table with Wally and Alice. He says, "This reminds me of my first job, before crash test dummies were popular. man, I spent a fortune on aspirin." Alice asks Dilbert, who has his feet up on the table, "What exactly is U.B.R.?" Dilbert answers, 'Unfocused Boss Rambling. Only 58 minutes to go."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presumed dead, like to work, finished three projects, lost five pounds, gave up coffee, seven patents, everyone prodcutive, life without mangement, paradise, spoon hug

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert are wearing casual clothes. Dilbert is dancing and Wally sits at his computer. Wally says, "Now that our Boss is presumed dead, I found I like to work." Dilbert says, "I finished three projects today!" Alice leans into the cubicle and says, "I lost five pounds, gave up coffee, and applied for seven patents!" Dilbert says, "Go, Alice!" Wally says, "Life without management is like paradise!" Tina the Tech Writer walks in and says, "Who wants to spoon-hug?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stupid people, insulted, formed mob, take abuse, survive, water, drink water, portesters, signs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert look out the window. Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. All of the stupid people you've insulted have formed a mob and surrounded our house." The in-duh-viduals hold signs that say, "Down with Dogbert." One says to another, "We don't have to take this abuse.. let's see how long he can survivce without water!" Dilbert says, "They're taking turns putting our hose in their mouths. I think they're trying to drink all of our water."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mob, stupid people, attack dogbert, drink hose water, isn't working, grass, attack, ruin our lawn, spraying water, hose fight

View Transcript

Transcript

CAption: A mob of stupid people attack Dogbert's house. One in-duh-vidual says, "Our plan to drink all of his hose water isn't working." Another in-duh-vidual has a garden hose in his mouth and looks as if he is about to burst. The first in-duh-vidual says, "Hey, careful! You're getting water all over the grass..." Another person says, "Wait, that gives me an idea!" Dilbert reads the newspaper. "How's the attack going?" Dogbert replies, "They tried to ruin our lawn by spraying water on it. But now it's turned into a hose fight."