Drink Industrial Sludge Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for drink industrial sludge comic strips. Discover the best "Drink Industrial Sludge" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rolling forecast, #worthless, #sarcasm, #meeting, #snork, #laugh, #drink coffee, #business

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The Boss says, "I've decided to move to a rolling forecast." Dilbert says, "So, the problem is that forecasts are worthless, and your solution is to do more of them?" Dilbert says, "If my sarcasm is a problem, I can solve that by doing more of it." Wally says, "SNORK"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lose job, #merger, #worry, #good word, #recommendation, #drink coffee, #observation

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The Boss says, "I wouldn't worry about losing your job after the merger." Dilbert says, "Because you put in a good word for me?" The Boss says, "No, it's more of an observation that I don't worry about other people's jobs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #drink coffee, #forget, #morning person, #business

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Wally says, "I've already forgotten everything that was said at the beginning of this meeting." SLURP Wally says, "I used to think I wasn't a morning person, but things never got better after lunch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anonymous online employee survey, #unabomber, #copy, #drink coffee, #worry, #copyright

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Catbert says, "Wally, we're concerned about the comments you made on your anonymous employee survey." Catbert says, "Your comments are disturbingly similar to the unabomber's manifesto." Wally says, "He was a good writer." Catbert says, "We have a problem." Wally says, "Is it a copyright thing?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #singles, #overalls, #drink, #cleaning, #crime scenes, #janitor, #relationships

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Woman says, "I love your tie-dyed overalls. That's a bold look." Dilbert says, "Actually, my job is cleaning crime scenes. I didn't have time to change." Dilbert says, "The singles scene is all about how you look."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #work, #progress, #software, #annoyed, #grit teeth, #drink coffee, #inspiration, #machine, #technology, #engineering

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The Boss says, "Wally, have you made any progress coding your module?" Wally says, "Progress is difficult to measure in the software realm." Wally says, "You could measure the lines of code I produce, but that would reward inefficiency." Wally says, "The art of this job is binding the rare moments of inspiration to knowledge and machines." Wally says, "In fact, just a minute ago I could feel the inspiration welling up inside me." Wally says, "But then you interrupted me with your naive question and the moment was lost." Wally says, "Maybe you should go back to your office and reflect on the damage you've done here today." Wally thinks, "There goes the one person who has less of a real job than I do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #restaurant, #drink, #martini, #olive, #choke, #shake hand, #vortex of failure

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Dilbert says, "Maybe I can't offer as much as other guys." Dilbert says, "I spend my days clinging to the walls of my fabric-covered box while being consumed by a vortext of failure." Woman says, "But long term?" Dilbert says, "Probably choke to death on an olive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entrepreneurial, #Advice, #drink coffee, #fail, #do nothing, #annoyed

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Wally says, "I'm taking your advice to be more entrepreneurial at my job." Wally says, "Failing 90% of the time is very similar to not trying at all. I'm pretty sure you won't be able to tell the difference." Wally says, "Which one am I doing now?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #role model, #wrong, #drink in

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The Boss says, "I'm here to be your role model." The Boss says, "My actions speak louder than my words. Just drink me in." The Boss says, "I think you're doing your part wrong."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #secretaries (office), #internet & world wide web, #relationships

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The Boss says, "Why did you reject my friend request on Facebook?" Carol says, "I'm not your friend. I'm a disgruntled wage slave who hopes you die in a freak industrial accident tomorrow at 3PM." The Boss says, "That's disturbingly specific." Carol says, "Hey, look. You have a meeting at the warehouse tomorrow."