Exercise Comic Strips - Page 7
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80 Results for Exercise
View 61 - 70 results for exercise comic strips. Discover the best "Exercise" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 29,
2011
Tags exercise & fitness, office workers, engineers, telomeres, value work, company gym, slacker trap
Transcript
Boss: We're looking for engineers with short telomeres for their age. That's an indication that you value work above exercise. Man: But you have a company gym. Boss: That's our slacker trap!
Saturday July 30,
2011
Tags exercise & fitness, office workers, using company gym, 60 hrs week, paying for itself
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I can't give you a raise because you've been using the company gym during work hours. Ted: I work sixty hours a week! Why did we build a new gym if I'm not supped to use it?? Boss: You were right. That gym is totally paying for itself.
Friday January 13,
2012
Tags business failures/bankruptcies, saving & investment, raises, debt crisis, economic uncertainty, board of directors, stock options, money
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a raise because the Elbonian debt crisis has created economic uncertainty. Luckily for us, our board of directors granted our CEO more stock options so he won't leave during uncertain times. Dilbert: What happens when the uncertainty ends? Boss: Then he'll exercise stock options.
Friday June 14,
2013
Tags apathy, exercise & fitness, beating the system, exercising, cubicle, soul crushing work, walker
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm beating the system by exercising in my cubicle. If I stay in good health during my forty years of soul-crushing work, I might enjoy a year or two of good health when I retire. Wally: This is why I don't have goals. Dilbert: I'm going to use my walker on your grave!
Wednesday February 05,
2014
Tags exercise & fitness, fear, obesity, insanity workout video, sixty pounds, one day, sweat, water weight, obsession
Transcript
Wally: Weren't you obese yesterday? Dilbert: I got the "Insanity" workout video. Wally: What kind of exercise makes you lose sixty pounds in one day? Dilbert: I didn't exercise. All I did was watch it. Shaun T: And that was the easy part...
Friday May 09,
2014
Tags studies, healthy exercise, healthier lifestyle, poor health, ruin meeting, attend stupid meetings
Transcript
CEO: Studies show that people who exercise are healthier. Wally: That's because people who are in poor health don't exercise. CEO: Why does it seem as if you ruin every meeting? Wally: Is it because I only attend the ones that are stupid?
Tuesday September 29,
2015
Tags fitness, competition, step, fitbit, tracker, technology, competitive, exercise, walking, Sports, health
Transcript
Wally: According to my fitness tracker, I took 20,000 steps yesterday. Alice: What? That's double what I did. You won't win this! I will run to the ends of the earth to beat your step count! Dilbert: Do you really have a fitness tracker? Wally: No, it looks like a lot of work.
Thursday October 01,
2015
Tags fitness, martial arts, violence, fighting, yoga, misunderstanding, exercise, fusion, danger, health
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm almost positive yoga is not one of the martial arts. Boss: Not by itself. We're learning a defensive style of yoga that incorporates the more violent elements of feng shui and Irish dancing. Dilbert: That doesn't sound lethal. Boss: Put your head on the ground and say that again.
Saturday December 30,
2017
The Problem Is Humans
Tags culture, consultant, human nature, company culture, business
Transcript
Boss: Our consultant has studied our corporate culture and isolated the problem. Dogbert: The problem is humans. You're all selfish, rotten liars. Boss: What kind of team-building exercise will fix that? Dogbert: I'd try something involving DNA and alien technology.
Friday May 25,
2018
Bossercize
Tags exercise, personal trainer, fitness, bossercise, criticism, managers, health
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert The Personal Trainer. Dogbert: I invented a fitness routine I call Bossercise. It mostly involves strutting around the office and criticizing people. Boss: You incompetent fool! Dogbert: Give me twenty more reps.


