Failure Comic Strips - Page 7

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97 Results for Failure

View 61 - 70 results for failure comic strips. Discover the best "Failure" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else

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Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad advice, problem, problems, snag, prodcuts, accept failure, lie, transfer problem, father, old sayings, Family

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Dilbert:I'm hitting a snag with this RFP because our products don't do what they need. Should I give up and accept failure or lie about our features and transfer the problem to them? Boss: My daddy used to say it isn't a problem if you can give it to someone else. Dilbert: Then he drove you to school?

Planning To Lose

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Planning To Lose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, insulting, planning, business plan, plan for failure, losers, angry, same page

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Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.

Rewarding Wally's Failures

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Rewarding Wally's Failures - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, excuse, laziness, justification, reasoning, excuses

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Wally: You should be celebrating my failures instead of punishing me for them. Failure is the raw material of success. If I am not failing, it means I am not pushing myself hard enough. Boss: Fine. What have you failed at? Wally: I failed to work on my project this month.

Celebrate Failure

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Celebrate Failure - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags success, failure, credit, taking credit, reasoning, managers

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Boss: Failure is the raw material of success. From now on, I will celebrate your failures. Dilbert: Will you still be taking credit for our successes? Boss: That part stays the same. I'm only trying to increase the contrast to your failures.

Doomed Smartwatch Project

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Doomed Smartwatch Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags analogy, obliviousness, assignment, technology, invention, watch, failure

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Boss: You'll be in charge of our smart watch project. Dilbert: ...that is doomed from the start. Boss: Stop being such a pessimist. Dilbert: Said General Custer to his horse. Boss: Why would he talk to his horse? Dilbert: Because even the horse knew something was wrong!

Robot Gets An Artificial Soul

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Robot Gets An Artificial Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags awareness, consciousness, happiness, obliviousness, resentment, revenge, soul, technology, psychology

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Alice: I figured out how to give you an artificial soul in your next upgrade. Robot: Wouldn't that give me a thousand reasons to feel like a failure while providing no off-setting benefits. Alice: I resented his happiness. Robot: I'm naked!

The Problem Is People

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The Problem Is People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, human factor, human error, people, misanthrope, misanthropic, teamwork

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Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.

Ted's Unicorn Startup

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Ted's Unicorn Startup - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags success, failure, gloating, start-up

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Dilbert: Too bad your overhauled unicorn start-up failed, Ted. Last week you were a billionaire, and today you're doing a two-hour commute to work in a box. Ted: What can I do to make this stop? Dilbert: Earn a billion dollars.

Being The Best

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Being The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, failure, guest artist, motivation, pep talk, success, john glynn

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CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.

All Options Lead To Doom

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All Options Lead To Doom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, blame, responsibility, scapegoat

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Dilbert: All of our options lead to doom. The only thing we can control is who we blame. Boss: That sounds about right. Except for the "we" part.