Failure Comic Strips - Page 7
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97 Results for Failure
View 61 - 70 results for failure comic strips. Discover the best "Failure" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 22,
2014
Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else
Tags Advice, bad advice, problem, problems, snag, prodcuts, accept failure, lie, transfer problem, father, old sayings, Family
Transcript
Dilbert:I'm hitting a snag with this RFP because our products don't do what they need. Should I give up and accept failure or lie about our features and transfer the problem to them? Boss: My daddy used to say it isn't a problem if you can give it to someone else. Dilbert: Then he drove you to school?
Thursday November 27,
2014
Planning To Lose
Tags failure, insulting, planning, business plan, plan for failure, losers, angry, same page
Transcript
Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.
Thursday May 07,
2015
Rewarding Wally's Failures
Tags failure, excuse, laziness, justification, reasoning, excuses
Transcript
Wally: You should be celebrating my failures instead of punishing me for them. Failure is the raw material of success. If I am not failing, it means I am not pushing myself hard enough. Boss: Fine. What have you failed at? Wally: I failed to work on my project this month.
Friday May 08,
2015
Celebrate Failure
Tags success, failure, credit, taking credit, reasoning, managers
Transcript
Boss: Failure is the raw material of success. From now on, I will celebrate your failures. Dilbert: Will you still be taking credit for our successes? Boss: That part stays the same. I'm only trying to increase the contrast to your failures.
Wednesday June 10,
2015
Doomed Smartwatch Project
Tags analogy, obliviousness, assignment, technology, invention, watch, failure
Transcript
Boss: You'll be in charge of our smart watch project. Dilbert: ...that is doomed from the start. Boss: Stop being such a pessimist. Dilbert: Said General Custer to his horse. Boss: Why would he talk to his horse? Dilbert: Because even the horse knew something was wrong!
Thursday November 26,
2015
Robot Gets An Artificial Soul
Tags awareness, consciousness, happiness, obliviousness, resentment, revenge, soul, technology, psychology
Transcript
Alice: I figured out how to give you an artificial soul in your next upgrade. Robot: Wouldn't that give me a thousand reasons to feel like a failure while providing no off-setting benefits. Alice: I resented his happiness. Robot: I'm naked!
Wednesday December 09,
2015
The Problem Is People
Tags failure, human factor, human error, people, misanthrope, misanthropic, teamwork
Transcript
Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.
Tuesday January 19,
2016
Ted's Unicorn Startup
Saturday March 05,
2016
Being The Best
Tags Advice, failure, guest artist, motivation, pep talk, success, john glynn
Transcript
CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.
Monday April 25,
2016
All Options Lead To Doom
Tags failure, blame, responsibility, scapegoat
Transcript
Dilbert: All of our options lead to doom. The only thing we can control is who we blame. Boss: That sounds about right. Except for the "we" part.


