Feed Animals Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for feed animals comic strips. Discover the best "Feed Animals" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ad agency, #cat, #sarcasm, #like sarcasm, #laughter, #over done, #animals

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THE AD AGENCY: Pete Peters, holding up a picture of a cat, says, "This cat will say something." Pete Peters, holding up a picture of another cat, says, "Then this other cat will say, 'Yeah, right.' It's like sarcasm." The Boss howls with laughter, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Dilbert says to Wally, "This explains so much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discount brokerage, #free dart board, #monkey, #drops below, #five hundred, #order money to kill, #strange techniques, #animals

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DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert is in his office wearing a headset. He says, "When you open an account, you'll get a free dart board and a monkey." Dogbert continues, "If your balance drops below five hundred dollars, we'll order the monkey to kill you." Dogbert continues, "Well, think about it and get back to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elboninan fullfillment, #service, #thwart, #300 times, #string phones, #mud pile, #pig, #laughing, #animals

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Two Elbonians each have a tin can with string held up to their ears. One Elbonian says, "This is the Elbonian Fulfillment Service. How may I thwart you?" The Elbonians continue listening to their tin cans. One Elbonian hears, "Grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt." The Elbonian holds his tin can away from his ear and says to the pig, "Okay, it wasn't funny the first 300 times either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discovered oil, #wild life perserve, #elbonian, #endangered species, #no impact, #drilled unicorn, #dead, #animals, #drill fields

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The Boss: we've discovered oil in the Elbonian wild life preserve. DOnt worry about the endangered species. Our drilling will have no impact. ELbonian: oops

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #animals dna, #clone one, #dont finish, #eating burgers, #elbonian unicorn, #save unicorn dna

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An Elbonian is holding a tin can tied to a string to his ear. The Elbonia says, "I'm sad to report that our drilling has caused the extinction of the Elbonian unicorn." The boss, at his desk, is on the phone. The boss says, "Save a sample of the animal's DNA so we can clone a new one." The Elbonian with the tin can turns to another Elbonian, who is eating a burger. The first Elbonian says, "Don't finish that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul mates, #one per person, #everyone gets one, #monkey, #animals

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Tina: I believe there is one true soul mate for every person. Dilbert: He must be very busy. Tina: I meant one per person. your way would be stupid. Dilbert: Can your should mate be a monkey?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bar, #burp, #chug chardonnay, #drinks, #drunk, #drunkards, #gross, #guzzled, #hit on, #pig, #scene, #sloshed, #slurred words, #strictly business, #business man, #date, #animals

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Alice and a businessman sit at a bar. Alice says, "This is strictly business, right? We're going to talk about your company's product." The businessman raises his glass to Alice and says, "I bet I can drink for chardonnay than you can." Later, Alice's hair is completely dishevelled and both Alice and the businessman are slumped in their chairs, totally drunk. Alice says, "You're a hanshum man and so ish your twin bruver." The business man burps loudly.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boyfreind, #project, #turtlenecks, #jeans, #fish, #training for marathins, #cry at movies, #the boyfriend project, #makeover, #clothes, #body, #animals

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Caption reads: "The Boyfriend Project." Alice hands her boyfriend clothing and says, "I'm putting you in turtlenecks and jeans." As the boyfriend changes into his new clothing, Alice continues, "You don't like to fish anymore. Now you're training for marathons." The boyfriend begins to wail, screaming, "WHAA! WHAA!" Alice replies, "You can only cry at movies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bug in software, #email address book, #send message, #hard data, #fix bug, #money, #finds mothers name, #compares face to animals

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Dilbert stands before a presentation screen with a model on it. He explains, "We found a bug in our software." Another panel comes up and Dilbert continues, "It searches your e-mail address book for your mother's name." The Boss, Alice and Wally listen as Dilbert says, "Every Sunday it uses your e-mail to send her a message..." Dilbert continues, "...Comparing her face to various parts of animals." The Boss asks, "Do you have any hard facts that proves we should fix the bug?" The Boss continues, "We can't just throw money at every problem." His secretary stands behind him, holding a phone in her hand. Carol, the Boss's secretary says, "It's your mother." The Boss puts the receiver to his ear and his mother screams, "YOU MISERABLE %$#@&!!!" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "See what I mean?" The Boss replies, "No. I get this call every day" as his mother continues to curse.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temp, #sign time sheet, #permanent position, #dog, #has fake owner, #dilbert clone, #doll, #stand in, #fake person, #animals

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Dilbert walks through the door of his house and says, "Dogbert! I'm ho-o-ome!" Dogbert appears in the doorway and says, "I'll be right there. I have to sign the temp's time sheet." Dilbert walks into the living room and finds a man sitting on a couch in a mask of his face, and Dogbert standing next to him saying, "If you're ever interested in a full-time position, give me a call."