Finish Tasks Comic Strips - Page 7
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Asok: "I worked nights and weekends to finish my project ahead of schedule." The Boss: "Good. Here's more work." Asok: "I don't understand. Am I being punished for working hard?" The Boss: "No, you're being rewarded with exciting new challenges." Asok: "Why does the plant grow faster when you say things like that?" The Boss: "No reason." "Stop that!" "Anyway, your annual performance review will award your hard work." Wally: That is one fertilized plant
"Your project deadline is next month, and I can't imagine you finishing on time." "So I dinged you on your annual performance review." "But... I will finish on time." "Well, let's agree to disagree."<r>"What?!" "You're basing my raise on what you IMAGINE I won't do in the furture!" "Relax. If you do finish the project on time, I'll factor it into your next annual review." "Well... Okay. I guess it all averages out." One Year Later "Remember the project that I finished last year?" "No. But the new one looks like it will be late."
The New Guy" "We have a strong culture of team--work here." "While you're doing those easy tasks, I'll be off doing assignments of unimaginable diffuculty." Dilbert: "Did anyone warn you that we have a strong culture of getting suckers to do our work?"
"Asok, this is important but you have month to finish it." Asok: "I'll start right away." Wally: "It's smarter to wait until the last minute and then make a big show of how harding you're woring to meet the unreasonable deadline." Asok: "You said that right in front of him." Wally: "It's still work that's the freaky part"
"This needs to be done right away." "according to the date, you've had this on your desk for three weeks." "Now I'll have to work all weekend to finish it by the deadline!" "Sometimes you have to soar with the eagles." "Gaaa!! You're reading that from the motivational poster behind me!" "If I have any questions about this. Can I call you over the weekend?" "My cell phone doesn't work when I'm on my sixty foot, luxury sailboat." "Ay-yiyi-yi-yi!!!" "Hey, If you can't take the heat, get out of the...uh...kitchen."
"I told our CEO that the design would be done in a month. He's ecstatic!" "That would be good except that I told you it won't be done for six months." "Ooh." "So, I guess you'll have to tell him." "It's too late." "He's already issued a press release. You'll have to finish the design in a month." "The only way to do it in a month is to accept massive design flaws that will destroy a billion dollar line of business." "That's okay. My stock options are so underwater that it won't make any difference." "I'll just blame all of the problems on the Chinese company that manufactures our products." "Ultimately, it's the CEO's fault for failing to give me proper incentives."
Phew! That was a nice four-mile walk. "Refreshing!" "Want to watch some TV?" "After I finish this call." Dogbert's Tech Support "Thanks for holding. There's nothing in the database about your kind of problem." @#$%!
"I've had it with this place! I quit!" "No!!!!" "We can't finish the project on time if you leave." "I'll give you a 20% raise if you stay." "Really? Okay. I'll stay." "Huh." "Hey, everyone, disloyalty is being rewarded!" "I'll probably get another raise for this."