Flex Power Comic Strips - Page 7
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Dilbert wears a bathroom and carries a briefcase. Dilbert walks by the boss. The boss thinks, "A bathrobe! This can only mean he found out how much market power an engineer has." The boss says, "I'll give you a 30% raise if you don't quit!!" Dilbert says, "Um.. okay." A women with several piercings says, "Take me, you terry-cloth rebel."
Catbert tells Dilbert: "Dilbert, you've become too aware of reality. I'm sending you to 'Cynics Anonymous.'" Catbert continues: "A higher power will help you regain the naive optimism that once made you a perfect employee." Dilbert says: "Why can't the higher power change me while I'm sitting here?" Catbert answers: "Fluorescent lights block his power."
The Boss says to the staff, "Our new corporte slogan is..." The Boss continues, "The power of the internet lies in converging the future with the here and now." The Boss then asks, "Goose bumps?" Wally responds while scratching, "Psoriasis."
Dilbert stands in front of a computer typing. A man dressed as a superhero with a 'C' on his chest says, "Step away from that network server! I'm certified!" The man sits in front of the computer, raises his arms and calls, "I summon the vast power of certification!!!" The man looks at the computer and says, "Well, this is embarassing; that's all I remember from the classes."
An employee says to the Boss, "Ha Ha! You never should have let me get a technical certification." The employee continues to explain, "I used my new power to get a better job at a different company." The Boss replies, "Tell me again why I hired you?"
Wally says to The Boss, "I'd like to work flex time." Wally says, "I'll work for five hours before anyone else gets to the office..." Wally says to The Boss, "Then I'll take a break for ten hours..." Wally says, "Then I'll work five more hours after the witnesses... er... co-workers go home." Wally says, "You'll know I'm working hard because my cubicle will be filthy." Wally says, "But I have to be perfectly honest: There's a down side to this plan." Wally says to The Boss, "I would miss your staff meetings that I cherish so much." Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm having trouble keeping my clever schemes separate from my sarcasm."
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I have good news and bad news." Dogbert says to a happy Ratbert, "The good news is I'm starting up a power utility company and you're my new VP of Operations!" Dogbert says to a chagrined Ratbert, "The bad news is that your office is inside a wheel attached to a generator."
Dogbert says to a dragon, "Bob, I'm starting a power utility company." Dogbert says to the dragon, "You'll be my Director of Marketing. Your job is to increase revenue." A frightened-looking boy is lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his nose. A lighted lamp is at his bedside. The dragon's tail is sticking out from under the bed and the dragon says, "Normally I'm an herbivore, Billy, but when the lights go off..."
Dilbert is watching television and hears, "Buy your electricity from the Dogbert Power Company." Dogbert, in front of a TV camera, says, "We generate all of our power with the help of California environmentalists." Two workmen are carrying a man wrapped tightly in a blanket. They're preparing to put the man in the fire in a large furnace. One workman says to the other, "These are getting harder to find lately."