Fortune Magazine Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

88 Results for Fortune Magazine

View 61 - 70 results for fortune magazine comic strips. Discover the best "Fortune Magazine" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #100 companies, #additional money, #happy to work, #fortune magazine

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our corporate goal is to become one of Fortune magazine's top 100 companies to work for!" The boss: "We hope to do it without giving you any additional money, benefits or freedom." Wally: "Then how could you possibly motivate us to say we're happy to work … uh-oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ethics hotline, #naughty thoughts, #work hours, #lost productivity, #reimburse comapny, #fortune, #too honest, #self imposing

View Transcript

Transcript

Ethics hotline This is dogcart. Please state your conundrum. Asok: sometimes I have naughty thoughts during work hours should I reimburse the company for lost productivity? Asok: Dang! Thi is costing me a fortune!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bungee jump, #ceo, #dogcart consults, #reckless adventurer, #volcano, #worst performer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults "Your CEO is the worst performer in the entire Fortune 500." "Your best bet is to convince him to become a reckless adventurer." "Tell me again why I'd want to bungee jump into an active volcano?" "Because you can!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I made a fortune by being an incompetent CEO. Everyone called me crazy when I put my entire personal wealth into pigs and garbage dumps. "You invested all of your money in pigs and dumps?" "Invested? Now that would have been a good idea too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gullible world, #magazine, #cover story, #shed pounds, #yell at children, #eat your way, #be a better parent

View Transcript

Transcript

My new magazine is called 'Gullible World'. "This month's cover story is 'Shed Pounds by Yelling at Your Children'." "Next month will be 'Eat Your Way to Being a Better Parent'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buy advertsising, #gullible world, #2 billion readers, #three readers

View Transcript

Transcript

Would you like to buy advertising in my new magazine called 'Gullible World'? "We have between one and two billion readers!" "Wow!" "I figured out how to make three readers sound like a lot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gullible world magazine, #engineering, #before and after, #picture, #before picture pose, #sexy

View Transcript

Transcript

"May I take your picture for a feature story in 'Gullible World' magazine?" "It's a story about how engineering makes you sexier." "Gosh, okay." "Perfect. Now all I need is someone to pose for the 'After' picture."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"A business magazine is sending a reporter to interview me." "You?" "They want to learn my best management practices." "That's a little like milking a squirrel because you need butter." "I don't know what that meant, but I like the way it sounded." "Describe your typical day." "Well, let me tell you..." "Sometimes you milk the squirrel, and sometimes the squirrel milks you." "'He is like a zen master. His words are peppered with squirrel-related wisdom.'" THE TIMES

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Our company has decided to try something new." Six Sigma "New? Six Sigma was developed in the 80s." "It's new to us." "Why don't we jump on a fad that hasn't already been widely discredited?" "That way the false hope might sustain us." "There's nothing wrong with Six Sigma. All it does is reduce defects!" "Let's see...Fortune Magazine sys...blah, blah...Most companies that used Six Sigma have trailed the S&P 500." "Sorry I'm late. What did I miss while I was innovating?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"It's stressful to be a contract employee. I only get paid for the hours I work." "I can't enjoy my time off because it feels as if it costs me a fortune!" "Do you know what I mean?" "Yeah, I had a feeling once."