Happy Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

171 Results for Happy

View 61 - 70 results for happy comic strips. Discover the best "Happy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags acquired by foreign company, merger of equals, make money, combined company, giant, latent psychic abilities, pain from distance

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I'm happy to announce that we're being acquired by a foreign company." The Boss continues, "Don't worry that they'll dominate us. This will be a merger of equals." He points to a sign that reads, "Merger of Equals." The Boss continues, "Except that they make money and we don't." The Boss continues, "And their CEO will lead the combined company." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice sit at the conference table. The Boss' voice continues, "And every one of them is a giant." The Boss continues, "And they've developed their latent psychic abilities so they can cause pain from a distance." The Boss grabs his head in pain and exclaims, "Gaaa!! I'm sorry I said too much! You are my master!!" Dilbert turns to Wally and asks, "Are you worried?" Wally replies, "Nah. If they read my mind, they'll all go blind."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags man hating supervisor, fired, being a man, happy to be man, dances, asok happy

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Man-Hating Supervisor. Asok is sitting at his desk. The supervisor approaches and says, "You're being fired for being a man." Asok replies, "No one has ever called me a man before! This is the happiest day of my life!" Asok dances around and shouts, "I'm a MAN!" The supervisor exclaims, "Stop enjoying life!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags superior perfromance, not effective, budget increase approved, retroactive, be happy, some no raises, 10% raise, future raise

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, your performance this year was superior. I'm giving you a 10 % raise." The Boss continues, "But it's not effective right away." "It kicks in as soon as soon as my budget increase gets approved." Carol asks, "When will that be?" The Boss responds, "As soon as the economy improves and profits go up!" Carol asks, "But my raise will be retroactive to today, right?" The Boss replies, "No." The Boss continues, "You should be happy. Some people aren't getting any raises at all." Carol holds one arm down with the other and thinks, "Must.. control fist... of death." Carol bumps into Wally in the hallway. Wally says, "I just got a 14% future raise just for showing up." Carol holds her arm down again and exclaims, "Gaaa!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas for boosting morale, employee pot luck, schedule conflcits, brings small meal, pviep

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Does anyone have any ideas for boosting morale?" Wally raises his hand, "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!" Wally says, "The employee potluck lunch that we had last year was almost perfect." Wally continues, "But we only had it once and some people had schedule conflicts." Wally continues, "I call my idea the 'Permanent Virtual Individual Employee Potluck' or P.V.I.E.P for short." Wally continues, "Every day, each employee brings a small meal in a bag and eats it whenever he gets hungry." The Boss says, "You already do that. " Wally replies, "And look how happy I am!" The Boss says, "Okay, who is going to organize the P.V.I.E.P.?" Wally responds, "Alice hasn't helped yet." Alice cringes in anger.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frequent grocery club, memebership, Card, engineer spittle, carry card, inconvienced, junk mail list, charge me same

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at the checkout line of a supermarket. The cashier asks him, "Are you a member of our frequent grocery club?" Dilbert responds, "No, what is it?" The cashier replies, "You get a membership card that entitles you to discounts." Dilbert says, "Let's see if I have this straight..." Dilbert continues, "I'll be inconvenienced by having to fill out a form and carry your stupid card around..." Dilbert continues, "And in return, you'll put me on a junk mail list, and charge me the same as the grocery store across the street?" Dilbert yells, "AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT?!!" The customer in line behind Dilbert says, "But it's free!" The cashier says into the intercom, "Cleanup on register two.. it's engineer spittle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags have mail, twelve years, glistens, envelope, happy, awed

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert are in the mail room. Wally says, "I have mail! I've never had mail in twelve years here." Wally continues, "It's not addressed to me but it was in my box so I'm keeping it." Dilbert asks, "No mail for twelve years?" Wally responds, "If I hold it just right it glistens."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags great vacation, beautiful sunsets, amazing food, descriptions, serve no purpose, selfish attempt, trigger memories

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. A coworker approaches and says, "My vacation was great!" The coworker continues, "The sunsets were beautiful. The food was amazing." Dilbert turns and says, "Descriptions of your vacation serve no purpose." Dilbert continues, "I can neither see the sunsets nor taste the food." Dilbert continues, "It appears to be a selfish attempt to trigger happy memories for yourself at my expense.' The coworker responds, "Okay, buster! When my seven rolls of film get developed.." She exclaims, "You're out of the loop!!!" The coworker leaves and Dilbert whistles and thinks to himself, "That worked out better than I hoped."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lost cash, consultectomy, wallet, transfusion, sedate unwilling donor, happy hour

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is lying in bed. Dogbert says, "The consultectomy was successful, but you lost a lot of cash." Dogbert continues, "We're giving your wallet a transfusion, but we had to sedate an unwilling donor." A businessman sits on a bed with a martini in one hand. There is tube stretching from his pocket to The Boss' wallet, Ratbert is manning the machine. The businessman says, "Whoever thought of happy hour at a hospital is a geniush."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags drug, happy, mood altering, pharmacy, pick up, skin rash, unhappy, pharmacist

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at the pharmacy. The pharmacist looks at his prescription and says, "I can't read your doctor's handwriting." The pharmacist holds up drugs and says, "I'll give you this mood-altering drug to make you happy." Dilbert replies, "I have a skin rash!" The pharmacist replies, "And it's making you unhappy, right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags prescription drugs, happy, genuine happiness, cures worrying, grow exoskeleton, doctor, no cares, happy drug, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is lying on the couch in his bathrobe. He says to Dogbert, "The prescription drugs make me happy, but I worry that it's not genuine happiness." Dogbert responds, "Ask your doctor for a drug that cures worrying. Then you'll have it all." The doctor hands Dilbert some pills and says, "It might make you grow an exoskeleton, but you won't care." Dilbert responds, "Cool."