Harder To Appreciate Comic Strips - Page 7

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95 Results for Harder To Appreciate

View 61 - 70 results for harder to appreciate comic strips. Discover the best "Harder To Appreciate" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #project, #complaining, #time, #work, #cruel, #mean

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the Boss says, "I need you to write a white paper for an industry trade association." Dilbert says, "Fine, but that will leave me with less time to work on my project." The Boss says, "Do the trade association stuff during your unproductive time." Dilbert says, "What exactly is my 'Unproductive time'?" The Boss says ,"It goes by many names, including sleep, leisure and healthy lifestyle." Dilbert says, "If I do less of those things it will reduce the quality of my life below the point at which good hygiene has any utility." The Boss says, "I don't want to make out with your. I just want you to work harder for no extra money." The Boss thinks, "I spend too much time explaining the obvious."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #idea, #ridicule, #contradiction, #misunderstood, #stupidity, #business

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The Boss says, "We need more of what the management experts call 'Employee engagement.'" The boss says, "I don't know the details, but it has something to do with you idiots working harder for the same pay." Dilbert says, "Is anything different on your end?" The boss says, "I think I'm supposed to be happier."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2010's comic on:


Tags #coworker, #request, #people, #project, #generic advice, #sitting at desk, #tail wagging, #hate, #angry, #replace, #inspire

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Dogbert the Generic Manager Man says, "We need more people on the project." Dogbert says, "Figure it out. Work smarter not harder. Make a plan. Move some things around. Adjust priorities. Just get it done. Give me a status report." Man says, "That did nothing but make me hate you." Dogbert says, "I can replace you with someone who will pretend to be inspired."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #contracts, #relations between the sexes, #Women, #ignorantly signed, #legal strategy, #affadavit, #attractive women, #have cooties

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Man says, "The contract that you ignorantly signed gives them the right to harvest your organs." Man says, "Your best legal strategy is to get sworn affidavits from attractive women saying you have cooties." Woman says, "Heck yes, I'll sign it." Dilbert says, "I was hoping this would be harder."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #boats, #business ethics, #new boat, #engineers, #skills, #boss's boat, #picture, #nautical interests

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Boss: Who wants to see a picture of my new boat? Dilbert: That's a very good question. If we consider the fact that we work much harder than he does... Carol: And we have valuable engineering skills, whereas he can't operate the GPS in his SUV... and for some reason we don't get paid enough to buy impressive boats. Dilbert: And we have no nautical interests whatsoever. I think your best bet is people who don't know you. Man: And you are? Boss: This only works if we don't get too familiar.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #interviews, #suspicion, #job interview, #brand online, #blog, #tweets, #facebook, #credit, #criminal record, #transcripts, #refrences, #external stuff, #attitude, #yrine test, #dna test, #tanning bed, #mri, #psychology

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Job interview Boss: I researched your personal brand online. Man: My what? Boss: I looked at your blog, your Tweets, an your Facebook page. I Googled your name and followed every link. I checked your credit, criminal record, school transcripts, and references. But that's just the external stuff. Man: Exactly. It's my attitude that counts! Boss: No. I mean I also have the results of your urine test. Oh, and apparently some of your sample landed in a DNA test kit. And that tanning bed you used last week was actually an MRI. How's your attitude now? Man: Harder to fake.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #taxes, #warren buffet, #tax rate, #subsidizing mansion, #condescending, #show appreciation, #ceo, #high tax, #worker

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CEO: Warren Buffett says your tax rate is higher than mine. Thank you for subsidizing my mansion, I really appreciate it. A good leader always shows appreciation to his underlings.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2012's comic on:


Tags #banking, #deposit, #bank, #waste it, #hedging strategies, #honesty is refreshing, #money

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Bank Teller: Thanks for the deposit, sucker! We plan to waste it on complicated hedging strategies that we don't even understand. Dilbert: Your honesty is refreshing. Bank Teller: Thanks, but it makes cross-selling harder.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2012's comic on:


Tags #director of change, #employees, #management, #managers & supervisors, #strategies, #business

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Boss: We're hiring a director of change management to help employees embrace strategic changes. Dilbert: Or we could come up with strategies that make sense. Then employees would embrace change. Boss: That sounds harder.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #delusional sociopath, #executives, #gardener, #goat writing autobiograohy, #hallucinations, #hard work, #intuition, #magical thinking, #non-fiction, #vision, #regrets

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Dogbert: I finished ghostwriting your autobiography. CEO: "I was ridiculously lucky. The End." I was hoping you'd include something about all of my hard work. Dogbert: You didn't work any harder than your gardener, and he lives in his truck. CEO: What about my vision and intuition? Dogbert: My first draft had a chapter on your hallucinations and magical thinking. But I covered that ground with the title: "I'm A Delusional Sociopath And You Can Too." CEO: I'm starting to regret paying you in advance.