Health Insurance Comic Strips - Page 7

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224 Results for Health Insurance

View 61 - 70 results for health insurance comic strips. Discover the best "Health Insurance" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags outsourcing, satellite, pig, insurance company, tease pig, kicks, risk, sledgehammer, animals

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The Boss: we're outsourcing our satellite launch program to Elbonia. We built the billion dollar satellite here: the Elbonians will put it into orbit. Dilbert I want you yo be our liaison. AAAAAGH!!!! The Boss: Thats our insurance company. They've been jumpy lately. In ELbonia Our plan is to tease a pig until he kicks the satellite into orbit. The risk is that our pig might prefer fisticuff. sledgehammer! abort! abort! Dilbert: It was hallow. The boss: don't mention that to our insurance company.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags energy, million dollar salary, secreatry, shareholder meeting, spank, stock options, turned ugly, beat up, bandages, health

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CEO: The shareholder meeting turned ugly when I said we used all the profits to give ourselves stock options. They don't understand that I wouldn't work as hard if all I got was my million dollar case salary. Id barely have the energy ti spans my secretary. The boss: Too much info

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags revenue, people killed by product, health risks, kills people

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The Boss: "Our revenue is now double the number of people that our product has killed recently." Asok: "Our product costs $80. Are you saying that each one kills 40 people?" The Boss: "Our customers know the health risks, so technically they're killing themselves." Group: "So technically we aren't scum?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags regular goals, stretch goals, sacrifice health, personal life, criminal conduct, bonus, salaries below budget, ultra stretchy, employee rights, taken advantage, cheat employee

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"Here are your regular goals and here are your stretch goals." "What's the difference?" "The regular goals can be achieved by sacrificing health and your personal life." "The stretch goals require all of that plus some sort of criminal conduct." "I'm guessing that your boss gave uou the regular goals and you came up with the stretch goals on your own." "That way, When I achieve the regular goals you'll get a raise because I missed the stretch goals." "Then you'll get a bouns for salaries below budget." "Maybe we should talk about the ultra-stretch goals later."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fresh cauliflower, sleep, operation oiwrked, reminds me, anesthesia, health

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"First I'll saw open your head. Then I'll replace your faulty brain with a fresh cauliflower." "How do I know you won't put me to sleep, eat the cauliflower and claim the operation worked?" "That reminds me: your insurance doesn't cover anesthesia."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, malfeasance, abandoned warehouse, beneficiary, life insurance

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I'm afraid that my boss will try to kill me because I know about his malfeasance. "I recommend that you ask to meet him alone at an abandoned warehouse." "It was a mistake to name you the beneficiary on my life insurance policy." "Remember to insult his goons."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags buy insurance, whole life umbrella rider, read list, acts of god, wrong god, lighting strike

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"I'd like to buy some insurance, but I don't know much about it." "You need my special indemnity casualty whole life umbrella rider binder." "What does it cover?" "I can't answer that directly?" "Just read that list of exclusions. Anything not in there is covered." "Does it cover acts of God?" "Yes, unless you pray to the wrong one." "How do I know if it's the wrong god?" "If you buy this insurance, and lightning doesn't strike me, try another god."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"My allergies are kicking up again." "GAAA!!!" "Good gravy, man! Do you have any idea what you've just done?!!" "Since you brought up the topic of health..." "When I was having my bones set, the doctor noticed that I have a detached colon." "My small intestines will eventually burrow up past my spleen and try to leave my body." "GAAA!!! HERE IT COMES!!!" gurgle "And don't get me started about my bunions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags death & dying, insurance, luck, sales, life insurance

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Bob, the unluckiest insurance agent. Bob: You're making a good decision. Man: Gaaak!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, fire, insurance, luck, sales

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Bob, the unluckiest insurance agent. Bob: Our hazard coverage is second to none! The Boss: Don't flee down the stairwell.The steps are made of asbestos.