Impossible Task Comic Strips - Page 7
132 Results for Impossible Task
View 61 - 70 results for impossible task comic strips. Discover the best "Impossible Task" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 14, 2004's comic on:
Carol: "I need a day off to attend my twin sister's funeral." The Boss: "A whole day? How well did you know her?" Carol: "She.. was.. my... twin." The Boss: "But not identical!" Carol: "How does that matter?" The Boss: "Well, she didn't even look like you." The Boss: "And yet you want a whole day off for a service that takes fifteen minutes." Carol: "Gaa! It would be impossible to be more insensitive!" The Boss: "I'll compromise. My pet gerbil is on his last legs. I'll give you the day off if you toss him in the casket so I don't have to bury him myself." Carol: "When do you think it will die?" The Boss: "Depends. How much does your sister weigh?"
Share October 06, 2004's comic on:
Share May 29, 2005's comic on:
"Can I show you something that I'm proud of?" "I austomated a task that used to take me three hours." "Well, well, well. Isn't that just like you?" "Resourceful?" "Lazy." "Did you ust turn my brilliant accomplishment into a character flaw?" "Complainer." "Let's just forget the whole thing." "Quitter."
Share September 16, 2005's comic on:
I need you to pick up Ted's function. "No problem. I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero." "Or are you asking me to do something that's logically impossible?" "I think I hate you."
Share December 14, 2005's comic on:
V.P. of Engineering "Then I had the idea of saving money by combining our four databases." "Excuse me. That was Alice's idea. You said it was impossible, so she did it on her own time." "Carry on. I'll jump in if I notice any more errors."
Share August 05, 2006's comic on:
"In order to make an informed decision, you would need to know as much as I know." "That's impossible. So instead, by mutual, implied agreement, I will feed you some lies that point you to the right decision." "If we don't upgrade our servers, a herd of trolls will attack headquarters." "No trolls!"
Share September 24, 2006's comic on:
"Welcome to Dogbert's school of management." "In today's lesson you will learn how to get your employees to do the impossible." "I have issued to each of you one large rock for practice." "Throw your rock in the air and demand that it stay there without falling." "Offer some non-monetary compensation to your rock to incent it." "If your rock refuses to comply, try yelling at it. Go." bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" "For those of you who stood directly below your rock, congratulations. Pick up your diploma on the way out."
Share November 10, 2006's comic on:
"Get the user data from Ed." "That's impossible." "Ed is an unreachable. He doesn't answer his phone or return messages. He's never in his cubicle and he doesn't read e-mail." "Does he use the restroom?" "No, we think he modified his briefcase."
Share November 12, 2006's comic on:
"Before you energize my team with your proposal, let me introduce everyone." "This is Wally. He'll show no reaction because he hopes apathy will kill our idea before it creates work." "This is Alice. She'll leave halfway through your presentation to take a phone call." "This is Asok. He'll be enthusiastic because he doesn't understand how the real world works." "This is Dilbert. He'll tell you why your idea is impossible." "This is Carol. She'll spend the entire meeting wondering if that's your real hair." "And this is Ted. He gave his two-weeks' notice last week." "And I like to keep my eyes closed the entire time because of my allergies. Go."
Share November 28, 2006's comic on:
I've been trying for six months to solve this engineering problem. It might be impossible. "Just turn it sideways and it will fit perfectly." "Okay...Now I have to kill you."