Less Valuable Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for less valuable comic strips. Discover the best "Less Valuable" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demo, #ne wpordcut, #vp next week, #delay, #ship date, #lower morale, #create unending demand, #unproductive demos, #doing valuable work, #quality, #banner

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The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Could you do a demo of the new product for our VP next week?" Dilbert says, "Well . . . That would delay the ship date, lower morale and create an unending demand for more unproductive demos . . ." Dilbert continues, "Logically, since your objective is to show that we're doing valuable work . . ." The Boss interrupts, "And we'll need a banner that says 'Quality.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #valuable experince, #rodent, #vice president of marketing, #simple marketing plan, #good press

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Ratbert, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "I had years of valuable experience as a rodent before I became vice president of marketing." Ratbert continues, "My marketing plan is simple. Each of you will cling to the leg of a technology columnist until we get some good press." Dilbert approaches a technology columnist and says, "It looks like you're full." The man has people clinging to both legs. He responds, "You can cling to the cat until a space opens."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vice president, #marketing, #losing scruples, #valuable lesson, #fun to say scruples, #business

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Ratbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I quit my job as vice president of marketing . . ." Ratbert continues, "I was losing my scruples . . . becoming unscrupulous. Yes, I learned a valuable lesson about scruples." Dilbert asks, "And that lesson would be?" Ratbert answers, "It's fun to say 'scruples.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #sequence, #discreet eventsmlime ofperception, #infinite possibilities, #magazine, #moments, #have togather, #less often, #life

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Dilbert sits in a chair reading and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Do you see 'time' as a sequence of discrete events or simply a line of perception through infinite possibilities?" Dilbert answers, "I see 'Time' as more of a magazine." Dogbert says, "You know these moments we have together - we really must have them less often." Dilbert says, "Ask me about 'Life.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #offered pormotion, #another department, #snail crud, #fantasy, #reality, #current assignment, #too valuable, #comapny, #raise, #valuable assignment, #why low morale, #breath

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I've been offered a promotion in another department." The caption says, "Fantasy." Dilbert says, "I'm outta here, you worthless piece of snail crud!!" Dilbert laughs wickedly. The caption says, "Reality." Dilbert says, "I meekly request to be released from my current assignment." The caption says, "Fantasy." The Boss says, "I would never stand in your way. Congratulations!" The caption says, "Reality." The Boss says, "I can't release you. You're too valuable." The caption says, "Fantasy." Dilbert pulls the Boss's tie and says, "If I'm so valuable, explain my last raise!!!" The caption says, "Reality." The Boss says, "In fact, I have ANOTHER valuable assignment for you." Dilbert stands in stunned silence. Dilbert tells Wally, I'm doing a survey to find out why morale is so low." Wally replies, "I think it's your breath."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work smarter, #not harder, #pay more work less, #frightened idiot

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The Boss thinks, "My old slogan was, 'Work smarter not harder.'" The Boss thinks, "But people kept leaving for companies that pay more for less work." The Boss stands behind Alice and says, "Work like a frightened idiot!" Alice says, "Catchy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget cuts, #do more with less, #first staff meeting, #less planning, #unnecessary work

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Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "As you requested, I have learned to 'do more with less.'" Wally continues, "I'm doing more unnecessary work, with less planning, less intelligence, and less guilt." The Boss says, "I hate the first staff meeting after budget cuts." Wally adds, "And less career aspiration, too!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #life insurance policy, #pay premiums, #collect insurance, #valuable, #company, #don't like cats, #business

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Catbert and Wally sit at a table. Catbert says, "The company has taken out a life insurance policy on you, Wally." Catbert continues, "We pay the premiums and we collect the insurance when you die." Wally looks at the policy and asks, "Is this because I'm so valuable to the company?" Catbert replies, "It's because we think you'll be more valuable dead." Wally says, "This is exactly why I don't like cats."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thermostat wars, #warm for you, #too hot, #compromise, #temprature, #shirtless men

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The caption says, "Thermostat wars." Wally stands behind Alice's desk wearing only a tie and his underwear. He says, "Be reasonable, Alice. When it's warm enough for you, it's too hot for normal humans." Wally continues, "Logically, you could wear a sweater. But there's nothing I can do to be less warm. Therefore, you must compromise." Dilbert asks, "Did she buy the argument?" Dilbert is also wearing a tie and boxer shorts. Wally holds a mirror and an electric razor. He replies, "No. But I'm going to shave my back and take another run at it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #umbrella, #doaked, #clothes microwave, #dry off, #tricked alice, #boss naked, #breakroom

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The Boss tells Dilbert and Wally, "I forgot my umbrella. I'm soaked." His clothes are dripping wet. Dilbert says, "Why don't you toss your clothes in the microwave and dry them off?" The Boss asks, "Would that work?" Dilbert and Wally are silent. The Boss stuffs his clothes in the microwave. Dilbert says, "Sixty minutes ought to do it." Wally covers his eyes because the Boss is naked. They shut the door on the Boss. Dilbert says, "We'll guard the door to the break room." As they walk away, Wally says, "You know, ever since the downsizing began, I've felt much less company loyalty." Dilbert says, "Me too." Alice asks, "Why are you two so happy?" Wally says, "There are free goodies in the break room."