Lose Idealism Comic Strips - Page 7

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86 Results for Lose Idealism

View 61 - 70 results for lose idealism comic strips. Discover the best "Lose Idealism" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #christmas presents, #sweaters, #ugly sweater, #lose a bet, #gift from mom, #hideous sweater

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Alice: What's up with the ugly sweater? Did you lose a bet? Dilbert: This? Oh, right. It was a gift from my mom. I'm wearing it once in case she asks me later. Alice: Did you know it was hideous before I told you? Dilbert: Maybe.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appearences, #big cubicle, #loose weight, #project leader, #status system, #toilet paper holder, #wider cubicle

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Boss: Congratulations! I'm naming you project leader. As such, you are entitled to a cubicle that is three inches wider than standard. Dilbert: I like the one I have. Boss: You don't have a choice. It is critical that we maintain the integrity of the status system. Otherwise our CEO will look like a jerk for having a private bathroom with a trained falcon as a toilet paper holder. Dilbert: Fine. Where's my larger cubicle? Boss: Here's the awkward part. We don't have one. I need you to lose weight until it looks as if your cubicle is larger. Dilbert: And if I don't? Boss: The falcon needs an assistant.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #executives, #wages, #long tern survival, #innovate ways, #cannibalize, #current prodcuts, #lose a fortune, #ceo's compensation, #revenue dips, #hovel, #some ideas, #money

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Dilbert: Our only hope for long-term survival is to innovate in ways that cannibalize our current products. The downside is that you'll lose a fortune in CEO compensation when our revenue dips in the short run. CEO: Thanks. I'll stop by your hovel later with some ideas for ruining your life, too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise & fitness, #fear, #obesity, #insanity workout video, #sixty pounds, #one day, #sweat, #water weight, #obsession

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Wally: Weren't you obese yesterday? Dilbert: I got the "Insanity" workout video. Wally: What kind of exercise makes you lose sixty pounds in one day? Dilbert: I didn't exercise. All I did was watch it. Shaun T: And that was the easy part...

Planning To Lose

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Planning To Lose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #insulting, #planning, #business plan, #plan for failure, #losers, #angry, #same page

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Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.

Incompetent Employee Budget Only

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Incompetent Employee Budget Only - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #catch-22, #incompetence, #funds, #lose funds, #75% competent, #cubicle

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Boss: I only have enough in the budget to hire an employee who is incompetent half of the time. But if I don't use the budget, I will lose those funds next year. Employee: And I am proud to say that I'm 75% competent. Boss: I wish I could afford that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #customer service, #frustration, #installing drivers, #software, #tech support, #technical support, #technology, #engineering

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Dogbert's Tech Support. Dilbert: The error message says my copy of Windows is not genuine. Dogbert" I'll walk you through a series of steps that won't work. Dilbert: Wait... what? Dogbert: After seventeen attempts that involve rebooting, you will lose hope. At some point you will give up and buy a new computer just to be done with it all. We'll start by uninstalling all of your drivers and reinstalling. Dilbert: Can I skip all of the useless steps and just buy a new computer? Dogbert: Sure, but you don't need to be a jerk about it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #weight, #dieting, #willpower, #denial, #circular logic, #eating, #health, #happiness, #weight loss, #obesity, #psychology, #medical

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Dilbert: I invented a device that can help people lose weight. Boss: I wouldn't need that because I have willpower. Dilbert: Then why are you overweight? Boss: This is temporary. Dilbert: You've looked exactly the same for years. Boss: I can lose this weight any time I want. Dilbert: So... are you saying you choose to be less healthy than you could be? Boss: I'm saying I'd rather be happy than healthy. Dilbert: Are you happy? Boss: No, because I'm hungry. Dilbert: And eating will make you happy? Boss: Well, I usually eat until I'm sick.

Deserve Is For Losers

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Deserve Is For Losers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deserve, #loser, #sympathy, #Advice

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Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserved. Alice: Deserve is a loser word used by losers when they lose. Tina: Whose side are you on? Alice: The winning side. Was that unclear?

Alice Can Be Disrespectful

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Alice Can Be Disrespectful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mocking, #frustration, #power, #helpless

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Boss: Alice mocked me in a meeting and I didn't react. Now she thinks she has the right to be disrespectful all the time. Catbert: You can't afford to lose a top engineer. Just wait it out and she will get tired of it. Alice: Sproink! Look what happens when you tell a lie! Boss: Hold... hold...