Managing By Analogies Comic Strips - Page 7

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75 Results for Managing By Analogies

View 61 - 70 results for managing by analogies comic strips. Discover the best "Managing By Analogies" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Is The Common Variable

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Boss Is The Common Variable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managing, #managers, #failure, #common denominator, #Advice, #performance, #motivation

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Boss: Every one of my employees is underperforming. What should I do? Catbert: You should fire yourself because you're the only common variable. Boss: I hadn't considered that. Catbert: That's how I know I'm right.

Data Encapsulation

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Data Encapsulation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inheritance polymorphism, #managing, #bullying, #data encapsulation

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Dilbert: Do you know the difference between data encapsulation and inheritance polymorphism? The boss: No. Dilbert: Then how can you manage someone who odes? The boss; Do you know the difference between managing and bullying? Dilbert: No. The Boss: Problem solved.

Need To Be More Creative

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Need To Be More Creative - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #managing, #creativity, #company culture, #control, #leadership

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Boss: We need to be more creative. Also, don't do anything except what I tell you to do or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: Thank you for your leadership. Boss: We also need to communicate less.

Bad Analogies

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Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #criticism, #critique, #simile, #language

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Man: Your idea is awful. Dilbert: Can you explain your reasons without using an absurd analogy? Man: It's like a pregnant squirrel eating a sandwich. Dilbert: I'll take that as a no.

Fyi Boss

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Fyi Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #email, #managers & supervisors

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Boss: I've decided to be more of an "FYI Boss". I'll forward emails that already went to every employee and add a note saying, "FYI". Dilbert: Do you call that managing? Boss: No, I call it leading.

Ai With Bad Analogies

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Ai With Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineering, #questions, #robot, #technology, #humans, #rational

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Dilbert: My breakthrough in A.I. came when I stopped trying to duplicate human rational thought. Dogbert: You can't copy what doesn't exist. Dilbert: Right. So instead I coded it to spout analogies to sound human. Asok: Should I ask my boss for a raise? Robot: Trees don't ask for raises, so why should you?

More Accurate Job Description

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More Accurate Job Description - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #frustration, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: I updated my job description to be more accurate. Boss: "I try to do something and then I get interrupted a jillion times until the thing no longer matters." Sounds like you need some extra micro-managing. Dilbert: I have to take this call.

Touch Base With Carl

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Touch Base With Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers

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the boss: can you reach out to carl and touch base? dilbert: can you restate that using normal words? the boss: i could, but then it would feel as if i'm not managing you.

Test Device Analogy

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Test Device Analogy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #technology, #power drill, #test, #device, #analogy, #office

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dilbert: i designed the test device to be held like one would hold a power drill ted: that's stupid. that product can't drill a hole in anything ceo: good point dilbert: that's... not... how analogies work. ted: and what if i don't need to drill anything? ceo: yeah!

Wally Not Working

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 Wally Not Working - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #technology, #work ethic, #micro-managing

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boss: you don't seem to be working. wally: i don't want to start something new because it's almost the end of my work day. boss: it's ten o'clock in the morning. wally: and here comes the micro-managing.