No Letter Q Comic Strips - Page 7
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86 Results for No Letter Q
View 61 - 70 results for no letter q comic strips. Discover the best "No Letter Q" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 27,
2005
Tags #scathing letter, #coulmnist, #dongle, #vebal superiority, #feel alive, #dear nutbag
Transcript
Carol: I just fired off a scathing letter to a columnist for misusing the word "dongle". Im intoxicated with the feeling of verbal superiority. My sad life has meaning , I feel alive! The columnist: Dear Nutbag, Thanks for the input, Heres a link yo a dictionary, I await your apology
Friday January 28,
2005
Tags #response to letter, #apologize, #admits error, #starting war, #mean spirit, #hating minorities
Transcript
Carol: "Hey, I got a response from the newspaper columnist I reamed for misusing the word "dongle."" ""Dear Nutbag... Link to a dictionary..." Um... Oops... It appears that I was wrong." "Now do you apologize?" "Plan B: I accuse him of hating minorities."
Thursday October 06,
2005
Tags #faq for wedsite, #anticipate questions, #questionaire
Transcript
I hired Mr. Dogbert to write the F.A.Q. for our web site. "The key is to anticipate our customers' most likely questions." "Question 1: Where does your CEO live? I need to know so I can throw your cruddy project through his biggest window."
Friday October 07,
2005
Tags #wites to website, #eating toast, #file open, #stupidest question
Transcript
Dogbert writes a F.A.Q. for the company web site "Question 8: Why won't my file open when I'm eating toast?" "Answer 8: That is the stupidest question ever! Do not have children!" "I sure hope someone asks that question."
Wednesday August 23,
2006
Saturday May 05,
2007
Friday February 29,
2008
Tags #300 iq, #computer, #convincing people, #desk, #evil director, #human resources, #nobel prize, #track record, #unix, #technology, #business
Transcript
Catbert, the evil director of human resources, posts a job opening. Requirements: Candidate must have an I.Q. of 300, two centuries of unix experience and a track record of winning nobel prizes. "90% of my job is convincing people they don't deserve theirs."
Saturday March 01,
2008
Tags #300 iq, #immortality drug, #impossible requirements, #job interview, #nobel peace prize, #time machine, #too old, #two centuires, #unix
Transcript
Old Man;I have all of the job requirements you're looking for." "I have an I.Q. of 300 several nobel prizes, and two centuries of unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented. Catbert: That's a lot of words for 'too old.'"
Saturday May 31,
2008
Tags #company news letter, #compile beta test, #in memorium, #newsletter
Transcript
The Boss: Wally, are you busy? Wally: Yes, I'm reading the 'In Memoriam' section of our company newsletter." The Boss: When you're done, can you compile the beta test results?" Wally: Sure. Just as soon as I get the data from... Larry."
Sunday October 12,
2008
Tags #arrange demo, #gave demo, #letter of intent, #potential customer, #slap yourself, #won't succeed, #40 million
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Would it be okay if I talked to a potential customer?" The Boss says, "No. You're not in sales. I need you to focus on your project." Dilbert says, "I already talked to them. Is it okay if I arrange a demo?" The Boss says, "No. Only the sales teams arrange demos." Dilbert says, "I already gave the demo." Dilbert says, "Is it okay if I convince them to buy $40 million of our product?" The Boss says, "No, because you won't succeed." Dilbert says, "Here's their letter of intent." The Boss says, "You shouldn't slap yourself now." Dilbert says, "Yes I... wait. Nice try."