Perfect Scores Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for perfect scores comic strips. Discover the best "Perfect Scores" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ethics course, #on line course, #perfect scores, #taking for boss

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What?! You only got a 'B' taking the online ethics course for me? "No one will believe you're me unless you get all perfect scores." "I...was...tired." "Why? You only did 300 push-ups for my online gym class!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #project plan, #won't work, #problem solver

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Your engineers think my project plan won't work. "I'll assign Wally to your project. He's a perfect fit." "Because he's a problem solver?" "Because he won't work either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Dilbert, this is Amber Dextrous, your new co-worker." "Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you." "She's going for the hug." "Oh heck, I'll just go with the flow and for once not be the socially awkward one." "She wasn't going for the hug. She shakes with both hands." "She's the perfect employee. She can do two things at the same time!" "Human resources surgically separated the two sides of her brain so she can multitask." Two days later "I'm sorry to report that Amber drowned while trying to talk and drink water at the same time." "Human resources would like to see you after this meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I'm in trouble. Do we have a witness protection program for office snitches? "I have the perfect hiding place for employees." "I'm gonna go eat some asparagus. Try to blend in."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Thanks to coffee, I can levitate objects with my mind." "Bring...the mouse...Bring the...mouse." "It's not perfect yet." "No problem. I appreciate the attention."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I worry that all of my wisdom is derived from bad analogies." "Ratbert, sometimes a good wine has to age before it is perfect." "So...I'll get smarter over time?" "To the extent that you are like a grape."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #reventer, #information services, #complete log in, #stare directly at sun, #computer message

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Mordac, the preventer of information services. Mordac: "Security is more important than usability." "In a perfect world, no one would be able to use anything." Asok: To complete the log-in procedure. Stare directly at the sun.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #renounced addcition, #internet, #giving advice, #wifi booster, #signal booster, #technology

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Ratbert: You'd be happier if you renounced your addiction to the internet and lived for the moment. Dilbert: Are you referring to the moment when there's a rat on my bed giving me bad advice? RatBert: How about now?" Dilbert: Perfect. Don't chew on the wi-fi signal booster.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #planned merger, #fast food chain, #employees, #source of protein, #perfect situation, #business

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Dilbert says, "I recommend we cancel our planned merger." Dilbert says, "They plan to open a chain of fast food restaurants using our employees as a source of protein." The Boss says, "If we always waited for the perfect situation, we'd never get anything done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor control, #paid per rumor, #terrorit training campo, #exotic dancer, #weekends

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Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Rumor Control Service." Dogbert says, "People are saying Ted is an exotic male dancer on weekends. I know it isn't true because he spends all of his free time in a terrorist training camp." Alice says, "Isn't that worse?" Dogbert says, "I get paid per rumor. It's not a perfect system."