Pointy Haired Loser Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for pointy haired loser comic strips. Discover the best "Pointy Haired Loser" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bet, #billion to one, #dance, #immature, #join pool, #lottery pool, #office pool, #rational person, #longshot

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Wally approaches from behind and asks, "Do you want to join the lottery pool?" Dilbert responds, "No." Dilbert continues, "No rational person would put money on a billion-to-one longshot." Wally says, "You will." Dilbert responds, "No, I won't." Wally says, "I'll bet a hundred dollars that you will." Dilbert responds, "You're on." Wally says, "If you don't join the pool, and we win, I will come to your putrid cubicle and do this dance." Dilbert watches as Wally snaps his fingers and sings, "Ay-yi-yi, hoo-wah-hoo! I'm filthy rich and you're a loser!" Dilbert leans back a bit as Wally leans forward and positions his rear end near Dilbert's face. Wally sings, "HOO-AH! HOO-AH!" Alice, Asok, and Wally convene in the hallway. Alice asks, "Who won the $100 Dilbert pool?" Wally responds, "Whoever picked thirty seconds."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asked to clone, #clone, #no soul, #pointy hired boss

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Dilbert, Wally, and a female coworker are eating lunch. Dilbert says, "Our pointy- haired boss asked me to clone him." The coworker asks, "What if his clone has no soul?" Dilbert and Wally both ask, "If?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manage time, #high priorities, #low priorities, #freakin loser

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Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk. Dogbert says, "I can teach you to manage your time more efficiently." Dogbert continues, "Put all of your high priorities on one list and your low priorities on another." Dogbert finishes, "Then do everything on both lists even if it kills you. Otherwise you're a freakin' loser."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hands free phone, #insulting comments, #boss directed, #pointy haired, #face transplant, #baboon, #personal calls, #company time

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The Boss is walking past Wally. Wally says, "You're an ignorant maggot. You disgust me." Wally continues, "You should get a face transplant from a baboon." The Boss exclaims, "What?!" Wally points to his headset and explains, "I'm not talking to you. I'm using my hands-free phone." The Boss replies, "Oh.. for a minute I thought... well, nevermind." Wally says, "Ha ha! You might be the most gullible moron in the galaxy!" Wally yells, "You pointy-haired, gray-suited pile of crud!!!" The Boss faces Wally, fuming with anger. Wally says into his headset, "Mom, can you hold? My excellent boss wants to talk to me." Wally asks sheepishly, "What?" The Boss exclaims, "No personal calls on company time!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #50 management, #interpretor, #jargin, #languages, #mumble, #mumble mumble, #pointy haired dialct

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "...And the most critical part of your objective is..." All that comes from The Boss' mouth is, "Mumble, mumble, mumble." Dilbert turns and asks, "What?" The Boss continues, "Mumble, mumble, mumble." Dilbert gets up and says, "I'll be right back. I need an interpreter who speaks mumble." Dilbert comes back with a coworker, whom he introduces to The Boss. Dilbert says, "This is Allen. He speaks fifty management languages including jargon, weaselease and mumble." The Boss turns to Allen and says, "Mumble, mumble, mumble." Allen replies, "Mumble, mumble, mumble." Allen reports to Dilbert, "I'm a bit rusty with the pointy-haired dialect but I think he wants you to line dance in a gazebo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #senior vice presdient, #cyrus, #virus, #infection, #managers, #old cronmies, #pointy haired pete

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "I'd like you to meet our new Senior Vice President, Cyrus The Virus." The Boss continues, "Like an infection, he will soon attack the managers in this company and replace us with his old cronies." The new Senior Vice President says into his cell phone, "Tell pointy-haired Pete to get over here right away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #loser cruiser, #perfectly respectable, #get used to it, #demotion, #loser, #cry, #no reason to cry

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Headline: Demoted. The Boss heads into his new cubicle and thinks, "A cubicle isn't so bad. I can get used to it." The Boss sits in his new chair and trembles. He thinks, "It's perfectly respectable. There's no reason to cry." The Boss is crying. Catbert approaches and asks, "How do you like your new 'Loser Cruiser?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gained empathy, #im not a loser, #promoted, #noble little people

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Maybe it's a good thing that I was demoted to work among you noble little people." The Boss continues, "I have gained valuable empathy that will serve me well if I ever become a manager again." Carol walks past and says, "You've been promoted." The Boss exclaims, "Yee- Ha!! I'm not a loser!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #act as boss, #imitates her boss, #alice, #funny faces, #makes hair pointy

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, you should act as if you're your own boss." Alice replies, "Okay." Alice grabs her hair into two sections and says, "My hair is pointy and I'm confused. Suddenly I have no respect for myself." Alice looks dazed. She slumps in her chair and says, "Must...golf... now." The Boss responds, "That is so-o-o not funny."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #filling in, #pointy haired boss, #carol is secretary, #administrative assistant, #name calling, #arroagnt

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Wally says to Carol, "Carol, I'm filling in for the pointy-haired boss, so that makes you my secretary." Carol exclaims, "I am an administrative assistant, you stinkin' baboon!" Carol continues, "I will make you pay dearly for your arrogance!" Wally replies, "Could you put a head on this?"