Return Calls Comic Strips - Page 7
169 Results for Return Calls
View 61 - 70 results for return calls comic strips. Discover the best "Return Calls" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 04, 1999's comic on:
Designing a Call Center Dilbert: If the employees get the svolume of calls per day they will wish they were dead. Dilbert But they won't be dead, just too beaten down to look for better jobs. Dilbert: I dont know how to make it any more inhumane. The Boss: we can punish them for not being cheerful.
Share November 17, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert, Dogbert and the boss are sitting at a small round table. Dogbert is wearing a turban with a quarter-moon on it. He says, "I can contact employees who are in org-limbo." Alice appears beside them standing and saying, "Hello-o-o! Why doesn't anyone return my calls?" Dogbert is holding up a chart in front of Alice and shouts, "Come toward the revised chart, Alice!" Alice says, "It's so beautiful!" Dilbert and the boss, run off scared.
Share November 24, 1999's comic on:
A voice is asking the new CEO, who looks like the devil, "...From a value-based management perspective it's clear..." The voice is Tim who continues, "...That the training department's return exceeds the cost of capital... So please don't kill me." As Tim, barely in the panel is clearly off his feet, being tossed around, the boss says to Dilbert, "Okay, you're next... and begging doesn't work."
Share December 26, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert pokes his head into the boss's office and says: "You were totally correct." Dilbert says to the boss: "We can develop the product on time and under budget." Dilbert says to the boss: "All we have to do is give up some features." Dilbert says to the boss: "For example, the original design called for a scalable wide area network switch..." Dilbert says to the boss while extending his arms: "...with multiprotocol support and full network diagnostics." Dilbert shows a sheet of paper to the boss and says: "The new design calls for a shoebox full of yarn." The boss is looking at the sheet of paper while Dilbert says to him: "So we're in good shape...assuming yarn is free." The boss says to Dilbert: "You're a serious threat to my open door policy."
Share December 29, 1999's comic on:
The boss and others are listening to Dogbert who plays the role of a teacher in front of a classroom. Dogbert says: "Welcome to the Dogbert one-hour executive MBA course." Dogbert says while wagging it's tail: "Notice that I took your money and I'm giving you almost nothing in return." Dogbert says: "That was a case study." "We have time for one more."
Share March 12, 2000's comic on:
The Boss calls Alice as she is walking by: "Alice!" The Boss tells Alice: "Stirrup pants are not professional attire." Alice explains: "I just filed a patent that will earn fifty million in license fees for the company." The Boss is impressed: "Really? Wow." He continues: "But its no excuse for bad pants." Alice says: "Whatever. Did you sign the budget request I gave you last week?" The Boss answers: "No... I've been busy with various pant-related crises." The stirrup pants are pulled over the Boss's head. He thinks: "Here's another."
Share March 25, 2000's comic on:
The future Dilbert says to Dogbert: "I must return to the future now, your majesty." Dogbert says: "The don't call me majesty, yet." The future Dilbert says: "You'll make it retroactive..." He continues: "...so you could boss around the time travelers." Dogbert says: "In that case, dance for me."
Share April 16, 2000's comic on:
The Boss' phone rings and he thinks to himself, "Again? That thing rang last week, too." A telephone company representative calls the Boss. "Hello. May I interest you in long distance phone service?" The Boss replies, "How long is it?" The telephone representative answers, "Umm...it's very long. Extremely long." The Boss replies in a demanding manner with one arm thrust in the air, "I need to know exactly how long it is!" The Boss continues to say, "If it's too short I'll have to shout the last mile! I hate that." The telephone respresentative replies, "Okay...it's fifty miles long." The Boss responds, "No, thanks. I don't know anyone fifty miles away."
Share May 11, 2000's comic on:
Marketing Lady: My marketing plan calls for the annihilation of all life on earth. Our only serious competitor is a company that sells tobacco and junk food. Id like volunteers. Asok: I beed some accomplishments for my quarterly review.
Share July 23, 2000's comic on:
ALICE: have you met the new CIO? Dilbert: No. Alice: I hear he's young. New Cio: Hello. We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing E-commerce platform. Now if you'll excuse me. Nature Calls. AAAHHH.... Then we'll decentralize the procurement function and....hold on a second. Gramps could you do me a huge favor?