Ruin Productivity Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for ruin productivity comic strips. Discover the best "Ruin Productivity" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #simulation, #productivity, #workforce, #pandemic

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The Boss: Run a simulation of our productivity if we lost half our workforce to a pandemic. Dilbert: "Should I assume we lose the productive people or the people who ask other people to run pandemic simulations?" The Boss: "Try both ways?" Dilbert: "Okay. I'm done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #increased pordcutivity, #watched funny videos, #morning until dusk, #halfway done

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Wally: This week I increased my productivity by improving my morale. "I watched funny youtube videos from morning until dusk." The Boos: "That's all you did?" Wally: "Don't worry. I'm almost halfway done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #family freindly, #policices, #lost prodcutivity, #openly hotsile, #single people, #not fair, #impatience, #contradictory remarks, #hypcrisy, #blatant prejudice

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Catbert: "We've decided to be more family friendly in our policies." "To compensate for the lost productivity, we'll be openly hostile to single people." Dilbert: "That doesn't seem fair." Catbert: "Shut up and get back to work, eunuch!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #dont know, #creating illusion, #work, #conflating, #concepts, #attendence, #prodcutivity, #business

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Tina: I don't know you. Why are you in this meeting? Wally: "I'm creating the illusion of work by conflating the concepts of attendance and productivity." "You should leave." Wally: "And who should I say hates teamwork?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosuar, #law suit, #no interuptions, #prior employee, #slapped, #slapped with a suit, #take off, #business suit

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Bob: Im Bob the esquire dinosaur. your exemployee, wally, hired me to step you with a suit for hiring him. Take off your suit is I can slap you with it. Carol: Not now, He's being slapped with a suit and I don't want top ruin the rhythm.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #capital cost, #estimates, #clarify, #ruin the system

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Wally, do yuo have the capital cost estimates I asked for last week? Wally: No, I always ask you to clarify what you need. You say you'll get back to me but you never do. The Boss: Maybe I could clarify it now. Wally: That would ruin my system.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #home lap top, #non standard cell phone, #elastic underpants, #trapped, #snagged, #clothes, #rigged, #office

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Dilbert says, "My only hope for productivity is to smuggle in my home laptop" CLAMP CLAMP CLAMP Mordac says, "Now hand over the non-standard cell phone you keep in the elastic of your underpants."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bleed people, #living and dead, #awkward

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The Boss: Wally, in the past month you've blamed your lack of productivity on seven dead people and three who never existed." Wally: I used to blame living coworkers but it made the meetings awkward. The Boss: Whose fault is that? Wally: Here comes the awkward part.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuses, #lying down, #table, #reading, #agenda, #sleeping, #lazy

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Wally says, "Agenda items four through seven don't involve me." Wally says, "I'll use that time to take a refreshing table nap. Experts say it's good for productivity." The boss says, "I need to talk to those experts." Zzzzzzz

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #therapy, #ignoring, #lying down, #thinking, #complaining, #writing, #psychology

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Dilbert says, "I multitask during conference calls." Dilbert says, "Is it wrong to value my own productivity over the inane babbling of others?" Therapist thinks, "Buy bread?Pickles?Light bulbs?" Dilbert says, "Hello?"