Sell Solutions Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

129 Results for Sell Solutions

View 61 - 70 results for sell solutions comic strips. Discover the best "Sell Solutions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new ad campiagn, #music from artsits, #willing to sell out, #dead musicians, #not descomposed

View Transcript

Transcript

Our new as caiman willies familiar music from artists who are willing to sell out. Due to budget cuts, we'll limit our search to musicians who are dead but not yet totally decomposed. MAKEUP!!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #netwrok security, #buggy, #complicated, #user guide, #pure evil, #tech support dept, #chimp with typewriter, #strategy, #victims, #hair quiver, #consultants, #paid by hour

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults. DOgbert: "Your network-security product is buggy and complicated." "Your used guide is an inspired work of pure evil." "And your tech-support department is an inebriated chimpanzee with a typewriter." "One strategy would be to fix all of those problems." The Boss: "What's the other strategy?" Dogbert: "Sell consulting services to your victims... I mean customers!" The Boss: "I'm so happy, it's making my hair quiver!" "But what do we do when our consultants can't make our products work either?" Dogbert: "They're paid by the hour." The Boss: "QUIVER!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lazy rich, #new product, #rebate, #1 million, #banking on forgetting, #great bargain, #one person

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "Don't sell your new product for $29. Offer it at $1,000,029 with a rebate of $1,000,000." "People will think it's a great bargain when in fact it's just a huge inconvenience." The Boss: "And all we need is one person to forget to mail in the rebate forms." Dogbert: "We'll target the lazy rich."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #create, #disruptive innovations, #dogbert consults, #redefine market, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBERT CONSULTS Dogbert: "To survive, you must create disruptive innovations that redefine the market." wally: "Does that mean the same thing as 'sell things people want'?" Dogbert: "There's one big difference." wally: "You only get paid if you say it in a funny way?" dogcart: "I like to think disruptively innovative."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #real estate, #sell house, #agent, #doesn't know maybe, #moving fast, #control process, #escrow closes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Maybe I should sell this house and get a newer one." Dogbert: "I'll be the real estate agent." Dilbert: "I said maybe." Dogbert: "A good real estate agent doesn't know the meaning of that word." Dilbert: "Things are moving too fast. I've lost control of the process." Dogbert: "Pack your stuff, waffler. Escrow closes in ten days."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #real estate agent, #documents, #overarched homes, #scarecrow manuafactirer, #run over

View Transcript

Transcript

The real estate agent DOgbert: Initial every page of this steaming mound of documents. Dilbert: This says that if I insist on overpricing my house then my agent can run over me with an SUV and... sell my clothes to a scarecrow manufacturer. Dogbert: its rarely enforced.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #international pop star, #downloaded cd, #burned guitar, #poor, #made no money, #manager stole

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your last job was international pop star?" "Right." "Hey, I recognize you! I bought your new CD." "No you didn't." "When I say bought I mean downloaded." "Exactly. I didn't sell one CD. Everyone downloaded it." "Weren't you already rich?" "My business manager stole everything." "You could perform live." "Too many musicians, not enough venues." "Now do you make music for the love of it?" "I burned my guitar for heat." "I bought your new CD." "No you didn't."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #check, #forgiveness, #philosophy, #rip out heart, #seek forgiveness, #ask permission, #internet, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Gaaa!!! How could you do this without checking with me??!! My philosophy is that its better to seek forgiveness than to ask for permission. Dilbert: did he say you could rip out hi heart and sell it on the internet? Alice: Kinda.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #grew beard, #waiting for boss, #noexercise, #bearded guys no discipline, #even numbered pages, #suspenders, #cigars, #restaurant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I grew a beard while waiting for my boss to get off the phone." "Then I realized I don't need to exercise because no one expects bearded guys to have any discipline." "I'll have everything on the even-numbered pages, a cigar and ...Do you sell suspenders?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #berating, #humilation, #importance of work, #making sound rate products, #motivate staff, #no prasie, #no raises, #threats belittling, #trophy wives

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss; I need help motivating the staff. Catbert: what have you already tried? The Boss: Threats, belittling, humiliation, empty promises, berating, slogans , posters and bullying. Catbert: hmmm...we can't praise them or they'd as for raises. Catbert: Maybe they can be motivated by the importance of their work. The boss: their work is making second rate products to sell to idiots so our executives can afford trophy wives. Catbert: have you tried yelling until your face turns purple? The boss> make three copies, please!!!! Carol: This is new.