Solving Problem Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

373 Results for Solving Problem

View 61 - 70 results for solving problem comic strips. Discover the best "Solving Problem" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1996's comic on:

Tags #biggest problem, #databases, #dwell on negative, #network, #probelm, #tracking database

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I just got our consultant's report. He's identified our biggest problem." Wally says, "I recommend that we build a tracking database." Dilbert adds, "We can put it on the network." The Boss asks, "Would you like to hear what the problem is first?" Wally says, "I hate to dwell on the negative." Dilbert adds, "We like databases."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1996's comic on:

Tags #building databse, #coffee mugs, #poor processes, #probelm, #slogan on mugs, #project team

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "You haven't heard what the problem is yet; how can you recommend building a database to solve it??" Wally says, "We always build a database." Dilbert says, "And we'll need coffee mugs for the project team." The Boss says, "The PROBLEM is that we have poor processes." Wally responds, "That could be the slogan on our mugs!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 1996's comic on:

Tags #laptop computers, #its to program, #training program, #rectangle plastic thing, #boost sales, #sales force

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In an effort to boost sales, laptop computers have been given to every member of the sales force." Wally says, "That could be a problem, given the recent cuts to the training budget." The caption says, "Meanwhile, in the field." A salesperson holds up a laptop and says to a client, "And if you order today, I'll throw in this rectangular plastic thing."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1996's comic on:

Tags #dogcart versus catbert, #dilbert death, #bob the donosuar, #fur wedgie, #lost paperwork, #ordering execustion

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dogbert versus Catbert." Dogbert stands on Catbert's desk and says, "I understand you've sentenced Dilbert to death." Catbert asks, "Is that a problem?" Bob the Dinosaur stands behind Dogbert and looks menacing. Dogbert says, "My assistant, Bob the Dinosaur, will now demonstrate how to give a cat a 'fur wedgie.'" Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. He says to Dogbert, "I've been pardoned. Somehow they lost the paperwork ordering my execution." Dogbert responds, "It probably fell into a crack."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1996's comic on:

Tags #authentic slave owners, #career expectations, #casual day, #company logo, #elfin, #new record forprofits, #petite, #slave labor, #small, #t hsirts

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Dilbert and Alice carrying a box. He says, "Great news! The company set a new record for profits!" The Boss continues, "That means t-shirts for everyone!" The Boss continues, "You can choose from sizes 'small,' 'petite' or 'elfin.'" Alice holds up a shirt and asks, "Shouldn't these have the company name or logo on them?" The Boss replies, "Hey, that's an idea for next year!" Alice reads the label and says, "It's 1 percent cotton, 99 percent 'miscellaneous' and all hand-made by authentic slave laborers." Dilbert replies, "That's great! With slave labor you don't have the problem that the shirts made on Fridays aren't as good!" Alice asks, "Do you ever worry that our career expectations have gotten too low?" Dilbert says, "Don't go there, Alice." Wally walks in wearing a small shirt and says, "'Casual day,' here I come!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 1996's comic on:

Tags #connection, #network, #broken, #token ring, #wind beneath my wings, #ethernet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert examines some cables in the Boss's office and says, "Here's your problem. The connection to the network is broken." Dilbert continues, "Uh-oh. It's a 'token ring' LAN. That means the token fell out and it's in this room someplace." Wally and Dilbert stand outside the Boss's office, watching the Boss crawl around on the floor. Wally says, "You are the wind beneath my wings." Dilbert says, "I'll wait a week then tell him the token must be in the 'Ethernet.'"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 1996's comic on:

Tags #cafeteria, #Catbert, #human resources, #labeling entrees, #life threatening, #red lump, #health care, #evil director, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Catbert, the evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Catbert says, "We're moving to 'cafeteria style' benefits." Catbert continues, "Under this system, if you need health care, you wander through the cafeteria asking 'Does anybody know what this red lump is?'" Alice asks, "What if it's a life-threatening problem?" Catbert replies, "That reminds me, the cafeteria won't be labeling the entrees anymore."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 1996's comic on:

Tags #phil, #ruler of heck, #patented exerspoon, #seven million, #exercises, #innovative spoon shape

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a chair watching television. A voice from the tv says, "This is Phil, Ruler of Heck, with a special offer for my patented 'Exerspoon.'" In the commercial, Phil holds his spoon between his thighs and says, "You can do over seven million exercises with the 'Exerspoon.'" It even trims problem areas!" Phil continues, "And thanks to the innovative spoon shape, storage is a breeze!" The commercial shows a man and women in a bed, sleeping in the spoon position with the Exerspoon.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 1996's comic on:

Tags #mentor, #automentor, #job staidsfaction, #massage, #accomplishments, #new job, #resume stain, #hopeless ness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Asok, "I won't always be around to be your mentor, Asok." Dilbert hands Asok a diskette and says, "So I've captured all of my career wisdom in this software, which I call the 'Automentor.'" Dilbert sits at his computer and asks, "Automentor, how can I achieve job satisfaction?" The computer replies, "Try giving yourself a massage in your cubicle." Asok asks, "Automentor, how can I make sure my accomplishments get noticed?" A picture of Dilbert is on the screen. The software replies, "That's not a problem at this company; nobody accomplishes anything." Asok asks, "Should I look for a new job?" The software replies, "Too late. They don't call this place the 'resume stain' for nothing." Asok stands behind Dilbert and asks, "How do you handle all the hopelessness?" Dilbert hums and replies, "I give it to the new guy."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 1996's comic on:

Tags #employee satisfaction survey, #department dismal, #assigning satisfaction, #task force, #problem solved

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "The results of the employee satisfaction survey are in. Scores for my department are dismal." The Boss continues, "I'm assigning you to the satisfaction task force until the problem is solved." Dilbert and Alice look upset. Dilbert says, "Please . . . Anything but that . . ." The Boss asks, "How satisfied are you NOW?"