Someone Steal Your Fortune Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

420 Results for Someone Steal Your Fortune

View 61 - 70 results for someone steal your fortune comic strips. Discover the best "Someone Steal Your Fortune" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #box lower, #intern is boss, #new boss, #new org chart, #graphics

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I notice that the new org chart has your box lower than before." Dilbert replies, "It means nothing." Asok says, "Perhaps. But your box seems smallish. And your reporting line brushes against my box." Dilbert replies, "It means nothing." Asok says, "No, I'm sure this means I'm your new boss." Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if I killed someone in a previous life."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asap, #a stupid acting person, #deadlines, #embarrasing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Alice, I need this ASAP." Alice asks, "ASAP? Does that stand for A Stupid-Acting Person, i.e., someone who ignores tasks until the deadline?" The Boss walks away thinking, "That was embarrassing. I hope the other things I say don't mean anything."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tips from headquarters, #long distance, #short words, #cheap boss, #save money, #dumb ideas, #swiss trip, #curse words

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Here are some money-saving tips from headquarters." The Boss reads from a list, "'When calling long distance, use short words." The Boss continues to read, "'If everyone did this, our fifty-billion dollar company could save nine hundred dollars per year.'" The Boss reads, "'Tip two: For faxes, use Sans Serif fonts. They transmit faster. Annual saving could exceed three hundred dollars." The Boss says, "Next item on the agenda, remember I'll be in Switzerland next week on a fact-finding trip." The Boss continues, "If you need to call me at my four star hotel, be sure to use short words." Dilbert whispers to Alice, "You might want to save those short words until he's on his clue-finding trip." The Boss stands in his hotel room in Switzerland. He holds the phone and listens to someone cursing on the other end. He says, "Those are NOT all short words."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wally report, #weekly stats upadte, #industry average, #income, #supply cabinet unlocked

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "It's time now for the Wally Report, a weekly status update." Wally continues, "My income is 80 percent of industry average, enthusiasm is at 63 percent of capacity and my ego shield is holding at 15 percent." Dilbert says, "Your enthusiasm is up from last week." Wally says, "Someone left the supply cabinet unlocked!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cloud of doom, #overlook, #lighting strikes, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "I need everyone's help on this project. I hope you can overlook the cloud of doom that hovers nearby." The cloud floats over their heads. A bolt of lightning from the cloud strikes Wally in the head. Wally falls over in his chair. Dilbert says, "Wow. It's lucky that wasn't someone we like." Asok looks frightened as the cloud heads toward him.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #save money, #copier ink, #add water, #copies light, #compensate, #darken, #implement, #Dilbert, #creative thinker, #implantation task, #bigger raise, #creative way

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally tells the Boss, "I have a great idea to save money." Wally enter the Boss's office and continues, "We can make the photocopier ink last longer by adding water to it." The Boss asks, "Wouldn't that make the copies too light?" Wally replies, "Ordinarily, yes. But we can compensate by setting the copier to 'darken.'" Wally says, "You'll need someone to implement this idea . . . Let's see." Wally says, "Hey, how about Dilbert? He isn't doing much work lately." Wally continues, "I'd do it myself but there's no reason to waste a creative thinker on an implementation task." Dilbert asks Wally, "Are you still mad that I got a bigger raise than you did?" Wally replies, "No, I found a creative way to deal with it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #famous person, #sandra bullock, #kevin spacey, #eats bacon, #kevin who eats bacon, #one degree away, #close to fascinating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his PC. Ratbert says, "Give me the name of any famous person." Dilbert says, "Sandra Bullock." Ratbert puts his hands to his temples, closes his eyes and thinks. He says, "Sandra Bullock was in a movie with Kevin Spacey... and Kevin Spacey eats bacon." Ratbert says, "See that? Everyone on Earth is only one degree from someone named Kevin who eats bacon!" Dilbert says, "That is SO close to being fascinating."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #agenda, #ubr, #first job, #crash dummies, #spent a fortune, #unfocused boss rambling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert passes out paper to The Boss and Wally. The boss has a pencil and Wally has a coffee mug. Dilbert says, "Here's the agenda. The first hour will be U.B.R., as usual." The Boss sits at the conference table with Wally and Alice. He says, "This reminds me of my first job, before crash test dummies were popular. man, I spent a fortune on aspirin." Alice asks Dilbert, who has his feet up on the table, "What exactly is U.B.R.?" Dilbert answers, 'Unfocused Boss Rambling. Only 58 minutes to go."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #more office space, #share cubicle, #arrange usual accident, #got box

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice peers over the walls of her cubicle at Dilbert. She says, "I hope we get some more office space soon. Otherwise, I'll have to share my cubicle." Alice says, "If they send someone here, I'll arrange the usual 'accident'." A co-worker walks in behind her, box of supplies in his arms and says, "Hi!" A spring under an office chari propells the co-worker out of Alice's cubicle. His supplies go flying. wally and Dilbert watch his arc through the air. "Wow. She got the box, too," says Wally.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blueprints, #new cubicle, #window view, #hot by window, #breeze

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds his box of stuff and Wally holds the office floorplan. Wally says, "According to the blueprints, your new cubicle has a support beam in it." Dilbert stands in his cubicle which is taken up mostly by a huge support beam. He thinks, "At least I have a window view." At home, Dilbert looks disheveled and sweats. He says, "It's one hundred-eight degrees by the window but at least there's a breeze from the people who walk by and laugh." Dogbert sits on the arm of the couch and says, "Don't let me slow your search for someone who's interested."