Starting Gate Comic Strips - Page 7

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89 Results for Starting Gate

View 61 - 70 results for starting gate comic strips. Discover the best "Starting Gate" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2006's comic on:


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Heh heh! I'll turn my monitor so no passersby can see what I'm doing. "Is he working? Dang! I can't tell." zzzzz "I'm starting to think I can't read people." "Dude. I wasn't kidding. Come back later!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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My boss marked me with the plunger of blame. How can I get rid of it? "Eventually your body will absorb the plunger of blame and turn it into the wrinkles of experience." "And then you die." "It's starting to itch!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Wally, did you finish the detailed analysis?" "No, I'm more of a big picture kind of guy." "Why didn't you tell me that a week ago when I asked?" "I don't like to disappoint people." "What the @#$% do you think I am now?!" "Hey, I think I'm starting to like disappointing people!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tina the tech writer "I'm starting my own blog!" "Dear god, no!" "Every day I will record my personal thoughts about our business." "I need you to write the first one by noon. I can't wait to see what I'm thinking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2007's comic on:


Tags #depressed, #corporate job, #intern, #unimportant tasks, #feel nothing, #stressed, #ptsd, #punch, #numb out

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Asok: My job is an endless series of mind-numbingly unimportant tasks. "My central nervous system is starting to atrophy." The Boss: "I'm kind of busy." Asok: "Punch me in the head so I can feel something."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2007's comic on:


Tags #project staus report, #infinity

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The Boss: When will I get your project status report? Dilbert: "You're asking for a status report on the status of the status report?" The Boss: "Right. When can I get that?" Dilbert: "It's starting to look like infinity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2008's comic on:


Tags #new elbonian management, #not discriminate, #non elbonians, #belief system, #level as livestock, #wrong hoof, #new superior

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An Elbonian says, "I assure you that your new Elbonian management will not discriminate against non-Elbonians." Someone says, "Doesn't your belief system hold that all non-Elbonians are on the same level as livestock?" The Elbonian says, "Someone is starting off on the wrong hoof with his new supervisor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2009's comic on:


Tags #pay, #economy, #nervous, #crazy

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Catbert says, "Asok, we need to cut your pay again. But maybe you could get a second job." Asok the intern says, "Second???" Asok the intern says, "I am already doing freelance I.T. support?and donating blood?and working as a male escort." Catbert says, "I don't need the details." Asok the intern says, "Running guns...Robbing graves...Starting a hedge fund..."`

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #stock market, #pump ad dump, #newsletter, #traded stocks, #disclose holdings, #bad stocks, #honest msitakes, #stock picker, #money

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Dogbert: I'm starting a pump-and-dump newsletter for thinly traded stocks. It's legal as long as I disclose my holdings and my bad stock picks can be attributed to honest mistakes. Meet my stock picker. Coworker: All shhtocks go up!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #big business, #executives, #profits down, #increased compensation, #incentive, #feel underpaid

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CEO: Profits are way down, but don't worry your little heads about it. The board increased my annual compensation to $60 million. Now I finally have an incentive to do a good job! Un-oh. I'd better hurry because I'm already starting to feel underpaid again.