Vendor Issues Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

176 Results for Vendor Issues

View 61 - 70 results for vendor issues comic strips. Discover the best "Vendor Issues" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #integrates, #resources, #optimize, #performance, #technology, #integrated

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The Vendor That Couldn't Describe His Company's Product. A salesman says, "It integrates the resources..." The salesman continues, "To optimize the performance of technology." Dilbert asks, "Yeah, but what is it?" The salesman responds, "Hey, if you don't want your resources to be integrated, just say so."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #price quote, #every expense, #alice side agreement, #hidden costs, #customer punch vendor, #freaking weasel

View Transcript

Transcript

"As you requested, this price quote includes absolutely every expense you'll incur!" "If that's true, you won't mind signing the 'Alice Side Agreement." "'In the event of hidden costs, customer will repeatedly punch vendor while telling 'you freaking weasel!'" "Pen?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best negotiator, #vendor, #engineering, #training, #resist, #facts, #infinite liability, #unidentified gizma

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "The vendor is sending their best negotiator." "You must use all of your engineering training to resist her tricks and look only at the facts." woman: "And if you agree to infinite liability, you get a .00001% chance of dating me. Plus a minute to play with an unidentified gizmo."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #contract signed, #price set, #hurt to ask, #time machine, #feel stupid, #hurts to ask

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: as the vendor to take 20% off the price. Dilbert: Now??? You already signed the contract, The price is set in stone. The Boss: It doesn't hurt to ask. Dilbert: It doesn't? SO...although we just signed the contract, would you please lower the price 20% Ha Ha Ha!!! Geta time machine you bumpkin!!! DIlbertL GAAA!! I feel stupid and filled with self loathing....futiloty tugs at my should,,,,my guts are clenched! Good. Ask Id they'll go for 19% DIlbert: It hurts to ask!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor list, #excuses, #same excuses, #password, #palusible, #changed

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, do you have the approved vendor list?" "It's on the net. The password is 'Wally.'" "Hmm, you always say information is on the net when I know it's not. Yet, by mentioning a password it sounds plausible." "So, first I'll find out that the password has changed. Then I'll find out the list is out of date. What am I forgetting?" "User name."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tainted research, #media, #clebrities, #blood, #environmental issues, #humor, #larry david, #hybrid car, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert:"We need to get you on TV to publicize the tainted research I did." "The media likes celebrities, blood, environmental issues and humor." "Someone pushed a pointy-haired man in front of Larry David's car today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #illeagal, #age, #sex, #martital status, #ethnicity, #fifty year old, #mongrel spinster

View Transcript

Transcript

"Evil director of H.R." "It's illegal for me to ask about age, sex, marital status, weight, ethnicity or disabilities." "But I can see that youre a fifty-year-old, 145-pund, mongrel spinster with some coordination issues." "Do you have any problem working on Christmas?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invoice, #preferred vendor system, #quality product, #scowl, #small biuinessman

View Transcript

Transcript

I may be a small businessman but I can provide a quality product to your company. The Boss: I'll ask alice to show you how to get into our referred vendor system. Alice: He can already invoice! Wally: he has your scowl.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #single source vendor, #job offer, #vp title, #waiting eriod

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Okay, I convinced my company to make you our single source vendor. I assume you'll be make me a job offer now. any vp title will be fine. I'll just take an empty office. There ...is...a...waiting period!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great 3 hour meeting, #strategic core issues, #gibberish

View Transcript

Transcript

It's been a great three-hour meeting but I have one question. Can a business - led project management process optimize our static core issues? Was that gibberish? I thought thats what we are doing.