Vortex Of Failure Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

97 Results for Vortex Of Failure

View 61 - 70 results for vortex of failure comic strips. Discover the best "Vortex Of Failure" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #problem, #problems, #snag, #prodcuts, #accept failure, #lie, #transfer problem, #father, #old sayings, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert:I'm hitting a snag with this RFP because our products don't do what they need. Should I give up and accept failure or lie about our features and transfer the problem to them? Boss: My daddy used to say it isn't a problem if you can give it to someone else. Dilbert: Then he drove you to school?

Planning To Lose

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Planning To Lose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #insulting, #planning, #business plan, #plan for failure, #losers, #angry, #same page

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.

Rewarding Wally's Failures

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rewarding Wally's Failures - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #excuse, #laziness, #justification, #reasoning, #excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You should be celebrating my failures instead of punishing me for them. Failure is the raw material of success. If I am not failing, it means I am not pushing myself hard enough. Boss: Fine. What have you failed at? Wally: I failed to work on my project this month.

Celebrate Failure

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Celebrate Failure - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #failure, #credit, #taking credit, #reasoning, #managers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Failure is the raw material of success. From now on, I will celebrate your failures. Dilbert: Will you still be taking credit for our successes? Boss: That part stays the same. I'm only trying to increase the contrast to your failures.

Doomed Smartwatch Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doomed Smartwatch Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analogy, #obliviousness, #assignment, #technology, #invention, #watch, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You'll be in charge of our smart watch project. Dilbert: ...that is doomed from the start. Boss: Stop being such a pessimist. Dilbert: Said General Custer to his horse. Boss: Why would he talk to his horse? Dilbert: Because even the horse knew something was wrong!

Robot Gets An Artificial Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Gets An Artificial Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #awareness, #consciousness, #happiness, #obliviousness, #resentment, #revenge, #soul, #technology, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I figured out how to give you an artificial soul in your next upgrade. Robot: Wouldn't that give me a thousand reasons to feel like a failure while providing no off-setting benefits. Alice: I resented his happiness. Robot: I'm naked!

The Problem Is People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Problem Is People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #human factor, #human error, #people, #misanthrope, #misanthropic, #teamwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.

Ted's Unicorn Startup

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted's Unicorn Startup - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #failure, #gloating, #start-up

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Too bad your overhauled unicorn start-up failed, Ted. Last week you were a billionaire, and today you're doing a two-hour commute to work in a box. Ted: What can I do to make this stop? Dilbert: Earn a billion dollars.

Being The Best

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #failure, #guest artist, #motivation, #pep talk, #success, #john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.

All Options Lead To Doom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
All Options Lead To Doom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #blame, #responsibility, #scapegoat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: All of our options lead to doom. The only thing we can control is who we blame. Boss: That sounds about right. Except for the "we" part.