Wag Tail Comic Strips - Page 7
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Character
74 Results for Wag Tail
View 61 - 70 results for wag tail comic strips. Discover the best "Wag Tail" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 20,
2008
Tags human resources, hr person, evil director, bad attitude, project, corpse of misery, donated brain, gum museum, mental imbalance, clarity, irrational, employee moral festival, won meeting, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: Your boss says you have a bad attitude. Dilbert: That's because my project is a flailing corpse of misery, and my boss donated his brain to a gum museum. If I had a good attitude in this situation, it would be a sign of a mental imbalance. My bad attitude is proof that I am thinking clearly. Are you going to compliment me on my clarity or demand I be irrational? CatBert: I'm putting you in charge of the employee morale festival. Dilbert: I have a sudden urge to grab you by the tail and beat myself to death. Catbert: That's how I know I won the meeting.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday August 22,
2009
Tags sitting, talking, discussing, plan, deception, greed, corruption
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We'll start ten mutual funds, each with randomly chosen stocks." Dogbert says, "Later we'll build our advertisements around whichever one does the best purely by chance." Dogbert says, "My goal is to be the premier provider of imaginary expertise." Wag! Wag!
Friday March 05,
2010
Tags walk, outside, project, budget, executive cancel, wag tail, evil, cure, incompetence, back shot, stand on stump
Transcript
Dilbert says, "We realized our project can't work even if we execute it perfectly." Dilbert says, "Our boss' plan is to go over budget, attract attention, and hope an executive cancels our project for his own political reasons." Dogbert says, "Now do you agree that evil is the cure for incompetence?" Dilbert says, "Don't make me say it."
Monday March 08,
2010
Tags coworker, request, people, project, generic advice, sitting at desk, tail wagging, hate, angry, replace, inspire
Transcript
Dogbert the Generic Manager Man says, "We need more people on the project." Dogbert says, "Figure it out. Work smarter not harder. Make a plan. Move some things around. Adjust priorities. Just get it done. Give me a status report." Man says, "That did nothing but make me hate you." Dogbert says, "I can replace you with someone who will pretend to be inspired."
Tuesday April 06,
2010
Tags proofread, technical document, acronyms, change, misread, bullet points, idiots, story, pet, wag tail, dog, stories, sit on rock, outside, jacket, animals
Transcript
Dilbert says, "A technical writer misinterpreted the acronyms in my draft technical paper." Dilbert says, "But that's okay because my pointy-haired boss will turn it into content-free bullet points and show it to idiots." Dogbert says, "I like stories with lots of idiots in them." Dilbert says, "Glad to help."
Friday June 04,
2010
Tags school, coach, time management, rudeness, stand on stool, angry, yell, swear, type, cell phone, wag tail, education, technology
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's school of time management." Dogbert says, "Today you will learn that rudeness and good time management are the same thing." Man says, "Answer my #@*% question!" Dogbert says, "Keep typing, Beverly! He doesn't exist."
Tuesday June 15,
2010
Tuesday October 12,
2010
Tags consult, customer data, money, privacy, real name, wag tail
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Dogbert says, "Your customer data is worth a fortune." Dogbert says, "I'll find you some buyers if you give me 25%." CEO says, "What about privacy?" Dogbert says, "That's not a problem. I never use my real name."
Tuesday October 19,
2010
Tags evil, cat, director of human resources, sales bonus, raise target, boss, laugh, point, bend over, tail, annoyed, support, animals
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Ken says, "Every time I get near my sales bonus level, the pointy-haired boss raises the target!" Catbert says, "Ha ha ha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! He just yanks it away! Ha ha ha!" Ken says, "I was hoping for some support." Catbert says, "Then buy a cane and talk to the tail! Ooogah!"
Friday October 28,
2011
Tags business ethics, illness, industrial sludge, drank, has tail, lower iq points, bright future, quality assurance, marketing, zip line guide, business
Transcript
Dilbert: He's been like this since our CEO made him drink a glass of our industrial sludge at a press conference. It looped a few points off his I.Q., but he's still has a bright future in quality assurance or maybe marketing. And with his new tail he'd be an awesome zip line guide.

