Water Comic Strips - Page 7
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102 Results for Water
View 61 - 70 results for water comic strips. Discover the best "Water" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 30,
2006
Friday May 11,
2007
Transcript
Dogbert's tech support "Try turning off your router, your modem, and your computer." "Now turn off your air conditioning, your lights, and your water heater. Unplug your microwave and defrost your refrigerator." "You're very thorough." "Cancel your garbage service, renounce your citizenship, and yank out your phone."
Saturday June 02,
2007
Tags rebel negotiation, table, room water, pool, senior discount, observational humour, high price
Transcript
Rebel negotiations Dilbert: "Your price to not attack our Elbonian factory is too high." Elbonian: "We can give you the senior citizen discount." *snort* Dilbert: "That's just mean." Elbonian: "Sorry. I'll switch to more observational humor."
Tuesday September 18,
2007
Tags public relations, marketing claims, tap water, unleaded gasoline, reanimate the dead, lousy job, job easier
Transcript
Dogbert, VP of marketing PR: "As head of public relations, it will be my job to explain your marketing claims." Dogbert: "So?" PR: "You claim our product can turn tap water into unleaded gasoline and reanimate the dead." Dogbert: "Are you asking my to do a lousy job of marketing just so your job is easier?" PR: "Um..."
Monday October 22,
2007
Tags security consulatant, without id, badge, strip search, confiscate wallet, lock him janitors closet, extreme, living on mop water
Transcript
Dogbert the security consultant Dogbert: "If you see someone without an ID badge..." "...Strip search him, confiscate his wallet, and lock him in the janitor's closet until he starves!" The boss: "That seems a bit extreme." Dogbert: "You're about one minute away from living on mop water."
Friday May 02,
2008
Tags alternative fuel divison, oil into watwer, uninhabitable wasteland, water into fuel
Transcript
The Boss: Our alternative fuel division has found a way to turn fresh water into fuel! Dilbert: Wouldn't that turn the world into an uninhabitable wasteland in the long run? The Boss: Not if someone finds a way to turn oil into water.
Thursday May 22,
2008
Tags fixed satellite, surround sound, water filter, dates fix it guys
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I fixed your satellite dish connection and tuned your surround sound system. Now can we go on our date?" A womany says, "That was our date. In ten minutes I'm dating a guy who will replace the water filter in my refrigerator." Dilbert says, "I can do that." A woman says, "You're welcome to stay and fight him for it."
Tuesday September 16,
2008
Tags albanian inflation, billion percent, fetid water, hyper inflation
Transcript
Elbonian inflation reaches a billion percent, daily An Elbonian says, "Is this enough for a small?" $ Fetid water! Another Elbonian says, "A minute ago, yes. Now it costs a hundred times more." The first Elbonian says, "Problem solved."
Saturday September 27,
2008
Tags director of green, pumping toxic waste, water supply, giant mutated alliagtor, destroyed factory, competitors factory, karma discredited, pollute
Transcript
Director of Green Andy says, "We've been pumping toxic waste into the water supply for years." Andy says, "yesterday, a giant, mutated alligator destroyed our only competitor's factory." The CEO says, "Now that karma has been discredited, what else can we pollute?" Andy says, "The sky's the limit."
Sunday January 18,
2009
Tags questions, business, reasoning, thinking, plants
Transcript
Dilbert says, "You're watering a plastic plant." man says, "yes, I am." Dilbert says, "Why?" man says, "Funny story." Many says, "Your boss replaced the live plants with plastic ones to save money." man says, "My company has the contract to water your office plants." Man says, "No one ever cancelled our contract." Man says, "Now my career is less important than a gnat's toot in a hurricane." man says, "But it's still way better than sitting in a fabric-covered box all day." Dilbert thinks, "I need to stop talking to people."

