Web Function Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

163 Results for Web Function

View 61 - 70 results for web function comic strips. Discover the best "Web Function" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #keyword search function, #languages, #friulian, #kataang, #marry you, #topper, #feature creep

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper Versus the Feature Creep "We need to add a keyword search function." "That's nothing!" "It should also search in different languages including Friulian, Kataang, Horpa and Wagi." "I like your style." "That's nothing! I want to marry you in a civil union."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I need you to pick up Ted's function. "No problem. I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero." "Or are you asking me to do something that's logically impossible?" "I think I hate you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #faq for wedsite, #anticipate questions, #questionaire

View Transcript

Transcript

I hired Mr. Dogbert to write the F.A.Q. for our web site. "The key is to anticipate our customers' most likely questions." "Question 1: Where does your CEO live? I need to know so I can throw your cruddy project through his biggest window."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wites to website, #eating toast, #file open, #stupidest question

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert writes a F.A.Q. for the company web site "Question 8: Why won't my file open when I'm eating toast?" "Answer 8: That is the stupidest question ever! Do not have children!" "I sure hope someone asks that question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #10 million dollars, #company, #four people, #weather website, #web monitoring, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, this year you did the work of four people and made over $10 million for the company." "But according to our web monitoring software, you used company resources to look at a weather web site." "Thief."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #web service satndards, #consortium, #approval review, #executive board, #review borad

View Transcript

Transcript

"We should join the industry consortium that's promoting web services standards." "Run that past the consortium approval review board and get a sign-off from the executive board of review board reviewers." "Do those exist?" "In a perfect world, yes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

The Sales Call "I brought my egghead to talk to your egghead while you and I make out." "Our web services employ XML, Soap and WSDL to achieve interoperable HTTP modules." Mmm mmm mmm "Do you ever think we might be in the wrong jobs?" "I'm not going to kiss you." Mmm mmm

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hi. I'm your new nemesis." "The nemesis function used to be handled informally. Now it's a profession, kind of like project management." "Stand by while I prepare my nemesis face and look for reasons to thwart you." sigh

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #albanian airlines, #bad airlines, #baggage, #cheapest flights, #corporate travel website, #Food, #security, #travel must be booked, #osama bin laden

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: From now on, all travel must be booked through the corporate travel web site. Alice: Our travel web site is terrible. It only lets you book the cheapest flight, and that's always on Elbonian Airlines. The Boss: Don't be such a snob. What's wrong with using a discount airline? Alice: Well, they list their destination airports as 'whatever looks soft'. The meals in first class are made of anyone who dies in coach. Their entire security screening process involves shouting at each passenger 'Are you Osama bin Laden?!!!'" "And I once saw a baggage handler wearing my dress. The Boss: Whiner.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I represent the law firm of Dogbert, Dogbert, and more Dogbert." "Your company's web page steals people's cursors and puts them in your own search field." "And my suit is too tight. When you put it all together, I might have to kill you."