20% Pay Cuts Comic Strips - Page 7

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396 Results for 20% Pay Cuts

View 61 - 70 results for 20% pay cuts comic strips. Discover the best "20% Pay Cuts" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief

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Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #identity theft, #internet, #racism, #reputation, #guest artist, #joel friday, #technology

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Boss: They guy who stole my identity just sent me an email. He says, "Stop making racist comments on the internet. You're ruining my reputation." Ha! Take that! Carol: You always said it would pay off someday.

Try Not Being Boring

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Try Not Being Boring - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #inspiration, #frustration, #bored, #boring, #powerpoint, #meeting, #obliviousness, #eric scott, #business

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CEO: I don't think my motivational messages are getting through to the employees. I can't make them pay attention to anything. Catbert: Have you tried not being boring? CEO: Good idea. I'll make fifty slides of pure excitement.

Asok The Uber Driver

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Asok The Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #driver, #taxi, #ride share, #rideshare, #money, #compensation, #wages

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Asok: Today is my first day as an Uber driver. I love the flexibility! I only have to work 75 hours a week and can pay my rent. Man: With plenty left over? Asok: Are you going to finish that sandwich?

Employee Hat With Sensors

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Employee Hat With Sensors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mind control, #thoughts, #police, #policing, #work ethic, #leisure, #daydreaming, #control, #surveillance, #legal

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Boss: The sensors in your employee hat tell me you are not having work-related thoughts. I have to dock your pay for all of that leisure time you try to sneak into your workday. Here's a screen shot of what you've been thinking. Dilbert: I'm going to remember this as a bad day.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #justice, #trial, #jury duty, #laziness, #lazy, #juror, #legal system

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Wally: I got called for jury duty. I'll probably be gone for weeks. I think I would be a good juror. As I understand the job, you sit in a chair doing nothing for hours. Boss: You're supposed to pay attention to the trial. Wally: That's what the other eleven people are for. There's a lot of redundancy in the system. Time to serve up some justice.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales personnel, #salesman, #sales, #honesty, #deception, #stragegy, #sociopath, #lying, #lie, #business

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Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fitness, #competition, #step, #fitbit, #tracker, #technology, #competitive, #exercise, #walking, #Sports, #health

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Wally: According to my fitness tracker, I took 20,000 steps yesterday. Alice: What? That's double what I did. You won't win this! I will run to the ends of the earth to beat your step count! Dilbert: Do you really have a fitness tracker? Wally: No, it looks like a lot of work.

Ceo Compensation

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Ceo Compensation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #worth, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #fair, #pay, #expenses, #saving, #rich people, #executives

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Dilbert: I just saw your net worth on the Internet. What's this meeting about anyway? CEO: It's about keeping expenses down. Dilbert: More for you? CEO: That's not the spin I was going to put on it.

The World Always Needs Bankers

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The World Always Needs Bankers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #banking, #big business, #college, #crime, #debt, #future, #hope, #job, #money, #robot, #robots, #stealing, #business, #education

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Carol: My son is trying to pick a major for college. Do you have any advice? Dilbert: Well, it will take him fifteen years to pay off his student loans, but most jobs will be replaced by robots in ten. But the world always needs bankers. Carol: We're trying to steer him away from crime.

How The Elbonians Spun It

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How The Elbonians Spun It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slavery, #slave, #slaves, #semantics, #owner, #ownership, #obliviousness, #wages, #money, #pay, #payment

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Dilbert: How's it going with the Elbonians you bought on the Internet? CEO: I had to set them free. Turns out it was slavery after all. Dilbert: You made them work without pay. CEO: Yeah, that's the spin they put on it, too.