27 Times Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for 27 times comic strips. Discover the best "27 Times" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2006's comic on:


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"Our CEO got a $400,000,000 bonus this year. Can I get that too?" "Wally, he got that much because he's a million times more important than you." "Fair enough. Can I have the $400 that you say I'm worth?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2005's comic on:


Tags #two ceos, #top job, #syockholders, #average employees slaary

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"After the merger, we'll have two CEOs sharing the top job." "A spokesperson explained 'If our stockholders don't mind paying one CEO 450 times the average employee's salary..." "...They shouldn't mind doing it twice.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #scarf retrun, #salesman, #computer, #1000 returns, #compulsive, #company policy, #harvest organs, #sell ebay, #dilmom, #technology

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"I'd like to return this scarf." "What's wrong with it?" "It isn't um...scarfy enough." "I'll just run your card through the computer and..." "Uh-oh...You're on our Bad Customer list. You've returned over a thousand items to this store." "In fact, you've purchased and returned this same scarf seventeen times." "Company policy says that I have to harvest your organs and sell them on eBay." "It was good while it lasted."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2005's comic on:


Tags #director of marketing, #ideas, #undercuts authority, #boss, #putrid boss, #bullying, #initative, #hammered

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"I have a great idea." "I was chatting with the director of marketing and we...." "WHAT?!!" "Never discuss ideas with the director of marketing! Never!" "Erk!" "You work for me! When you talk to others managers it undercuts my authority!" "If I accept ideas from another manager, it's just like he's my boss!" "Amazing! Did you know that your behavior is described on page 27 of the 'Putrid Boss' Book? It's the chapter on killing initiative and bullying!" "That's fascinating. Now let me show you something that isn't in the book." "It looks like someone has been showing initiative." "Please shut up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #conference call, #boss, #15 people, #availablity, #august 6th, #5 minutes, #so far so good

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Asok: "Hello, this is Asok the intern. I am trying to set up a conference all with you boss and 15 other people."<Br>"Could you tell me all of the times he is available in the next six months?"<Br>"Only Augus sixth between 8:35 and 8:40." "So far so good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2005's comic on:


Tags #balcberry, #contact, #do work, #all day, #prodcutivity

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Dilbert: "I need a Blackbery so I can be in e-mail contact at all times." "I'll be able to do work all day and all night. My productivity will soar!" The Boss: "Trust me, it doesn't look good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #approval, #new safety manual, #wear protective gloves, #safety goggles, #blood, #grabbed

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Wally: I need your approval on the new safety manual. The Boss: "Gaaa!!! Sharp edges!! Gaaa!!! It grabbed my hand!!!" Wally: "Chapter One: Wear protective gloves and safety goggles at all times." The Boss: "Aaaiieee!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #sycophant school, #agree with superiors, #make statements, #fake smiles, #paid 400x more, #look at faces, #rude, #teaching, #aggressive, #education

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SYCOPHANT SCHOOL "You must learn to agree with your superiors no matter what they say." "For practice, I'll make statements and you agree. Remember to use your fake smiles." "Statement one: I should be paid 400 times more than you because I have to look at your faces."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #selling confidential data base, #customer information, #profitable, #virtually untectable, #highly unethical, #modern times, #facebook, #commercial, #branding

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The Boss: Did you ever think about selling our confidential data-base of customer information? It would be massively profitable while virtually undetectable, Catbert: But highly unethical. The boss: I don't know you any more. Catbert: Im yanking your chain . when do we start?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #worer, #40 million a year, #400 x worker pay, #salary, #disparity, #golden egg, #every ten minutes, #money

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The Boss: "Our CEO will be happy to answer any questions." Alice: "Why does the company pay you 40 million dollars a year?" "I ask because it's 400 times more than I make. And I work 70 hours a week." "Do you work 28,000 hours per week?" "Or do you have some sort of special ability that isn't obvious?" CEO: "GRRRRR RRRRR AAAAH-OOGAH!!!" "Golden egg. One every ten minutes." "Good answer."