Ability To Focus Comic Strips - Page 7

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96 Results for Ability To Focus

View 61 - 70 results for ability to focus comic strips. Discover the best "Ability To Focus" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #project, #needs attention, #meeting, #helper for porject, #engineers, #business

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The Boss, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Wally says, "This project needs your complete attention." Alice says, "Wally's right. Forget the other projects and focus on that one." Wally, Alice and Dilbert eat lunch. Dilbert says, "Did I miss anything at the meeting?" Wally says, "We got you a little helper for your project."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 1998's comic on:


Tags #woman paid 75 cents, #every dollar men, #highest paid engineer, #average woman, #problem

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Tina the tech writer says, "I just read that the average woman is paid 75 cents for every dollar that men make. It's an outrage!" Alice sits at her computer and grimaces. Alice says, "I'm the highest paid engineer in the company." Tina looks comfused and says, "That's impossible. The article says, 'Average women' earn less." Alice says, "Suddenly, the problem comes into focus."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 1998's comic on:


Tags #psychic ability, #flip coin, #called, #edge, #coincidence, #coin toss, #ratbert

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Dilbert holds a coin out in his hand. He says, "I will debunk your ludicrous claim of psychic ability with one hundred flips of this coin." Ratbert looks on. Dilbert flips the coin and says, "Call it." Ratbert trows out his hands and says, "Edge." The coin lands on its edge. Dilbert frowns and says, "That was just coincidence." Ratbert says, "I call edge for the next 99, too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dogbert research co>, #focus group, #carefully screened, #loser choices, #opposite, #what recommended, #skipped jury duty, #liver transplant

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Dogbert Research Co. Dogbert says, "You've all been carefully screened for this focus group." Dogbert continues, "Each of you has a pattern of making "Loser Choices." I'll tell my clients to do the opposite of whatever you recommend." One man says, "Fun! I'm glad I skipped jury duty to be here." THe woman next to him says, "I rescheduled my liver transplant!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #address envelope, #death penalty, #helpless, #master plan, #one way trip, #solve small problems, #speaking engilsh, #training, #south korea

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The Boss holds a letter and says, "Carol, how do I address an envelope?" Carol, his secretary, sings, "I'll do it." Carol explains to Dilbert, "I'm training him to be helpless." She says, "It's part of my master plan to eliminate him." Carol says, "I do everything for him. Soon he'll lose his ability to solve small problems alone." She says, "Then I'll 'accidentally' book him on a one-way trip to South Korea." Carol says, "Before he goes, I'll tell him they have a death penelty for speaking English." Carol laughs a maniacal laugh and says, "We'll never see him again. Buwahaha!" Dilbert walks off and says, "It's worth a shot." The Boss calls from his office and says, "Carol, how do I dial for an outside line?" Carol says, "I'll do it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dogcart the consultant, #meet boss, #dogcart talks, #crud, #crudibility, #pointy haired wonder

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Dogbert stands on a desk wearing a sorcerer's hat. He tells the Boss, "Let me do the talking when we meet with your boss." Dogbert says to a woman behind a desk, "As you know, any idea from the pointy-haired wonder is crud, but when you add my ability, what do you have?" The woman asks, "Crudability?" Dogbert says, "And good looks too!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #computer screen, #drivers side window, #interpersonal skills, #stupid person, #windshield gone, #without rolling eyes, #yugo

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Dogbert sits on a stool and Dilbert sits in a chair. Dogbert says, "This lesson in interpersonal skills involves listening to a stupid person without rolling your eyes." A man says, "My computer screen says, 'Press any key to continue.' Can I borrow your keys? Mine are locked in my Yugo." Dilbert covers his eyes and thinks, "Must focus . . . Must . . . Focus . . ." The man says, "I could break the driver's side window . . . But it's bad enough that the windshield is gone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1996's comic on:


Tags #team building, #exercise, #solve problems, #working sundial, #pencil, #donut, #make any differnce, #health

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Dogbert says to Alice, Dilbert, the Boss and Wally, "This next exercise will challenge your ability to solve problems as a team." Dogbert says, "Build a working sundial using only a pencil and a donut." Four hours later, the Boss says with his mouth full, "One more bite isn't going to make any difference." The pencil lies next to a pile of crumbs on the table. Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1996's comic on:


Tags #getting stupid, #increasing geometrically, #slow trickle, #gushing, #firehouse, #teacup, #crossroads in history, #functionally stupid, #leader, #vision, #fog, #human incompetence

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk down the sidewalk. Dogbert says, "People are getting stupider every day, relatively speaking." Dogbert continues, "The complexity of the world is increasing geometrically." Dogbert continues, "But your ability to learn is at the same slow trickle it has always been." Dogbert climbs onto a rock and continues, "Information is gushing toward your brain like a firehose aimed at a teacup." Dogbert stands on the rock and continues, "You're at a crossroads in history. Even the smartest among you has become 'functionally stupid.'" Dogbert continues, "Your only hope is to choose a leader whose vision can penetrate the thick fog of human incompetence." Dogbert raises his paws and shouts, "Dogbert for Supreme Ruler of Earth!!" Dilbert sits on a rock and asks, "Do you want my opinion?" Dogbert says, "What are the odds of that?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1996's comic on:


Tags #business language, #competetive, #salary increase goodbye, #core business, #lost, #empowered, #unimportant deciosns, #reengineering, #essential, #people person, #canibal, #hire trained people, #market driven, #balme cutsomers, #value employee input, #hour, #important

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Dogbert sits at a desk. The panel is titled "Business Language Explained." Someone says, "We have to be more competitive." Dilbert and Wally wear barrels instead of clothing. Wally says, "Nice barrel." Dilbert replies, "This old thing?" The caption says, "Meaning: Say goodbye to salary increases." Someone says, "We must focus on our core business." The Boss feels his head and says, "Hello." The caption says, "Meaning: We can't find our butts with both hands." Someone says, "You are empowered." Alice sits at her desk wearing a crown and saying, "I proclaim this to be 'Green Ink Day.'" The caption says, "Meaning: You're the monarch of unimportant decisions." Someone says, "We're reengineering your function." A man and a horse are kicked out an office window. The caption says, "Meaning: Adios, Tonto, and the horse you rode in on." Someone says, "Training is essential." A man at a desk asks, "You were a cannibal?" A man wearing a grass skirt and a bone in his hair replies, "I'm a people person." The caption says, "Meaning: We're trying to hire some trained people." Someone says, "We're market driven." A woman doing research asks a man, "What's your favorite odor?" The caption says, "Meaning: We blame customers for our lack of innovation." Someone says, "We value employee input." Dilbert tells the Boss, "Thanks for listening." The Boss laughs hysterically. The caption says, "Meaning: We think humor is important."