Actually A Woman Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

713 Results for Actually A Woman

View 61 - 70 results for actually a woman comic strips. Discover the best "Actually A Woman" comics from Dilbert.com.

How It Would Be With Robots In Charge

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How It Would Be With Robots In Charge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #slave, #enslavement, #power, #responsibility, #laziness, #work ethic, #annoyance, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Buwhahahaha! I will use my superior robot brain to enslave humankind! Wally: That probably sounds better than it would actually be. How It Would Be: Wally: I'm tired. I need to recharge. Robot: Gaaaa!!! I hate owning you!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social, #party, #invite, #relationships, #friend, #friendship, #test, #popularity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm having some people over to my house after work. Would you like to come? Woman: Who else is coming? Dilbert: Seven people said maybe, and one said he would get back to me. I think that shows a lot of interest. So how about it? Can you come? Woman: It depends on whether my sister needs a ride to the airport. Dilbert: When will you know? Woman: I'll text you. Dogbert: Are you sad that no one came? Dilbert: No, I was just A-B testing to see if I still hate all of them.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #robot, #replacement, #doctor, #medicine, #obsolete, #job, #diagnose, #necessity, #technology, #invention, #business, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: IBM's Watson supercomputer has diagnosed your symptoms. The computer just ordered the meds you need. They will be delivered in an hour by drone. Dilbert: Looks like your job as a doctor is becoming obsolete. Doctor: Ha ha! No. You still need a doctor and a nurse to make the system work. For example, the computer can't read its own screen and speak those words to patients. Dilbert: Actually, it can. Doctor: But the computer doesn't have a nurse. Dilbert: What does the nurse do? Nurse: I stab him if he tries to do more than read the screen.

Selfish Team Player

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Selfish Team Player - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypocrisy, #team, #semantics, #flaw, #personality disorder, #success, #selfish, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: If being selfish is necessary for success, how can I claim to be a team player? Wally: I like to use a tool called hypocrisy. Asok: That is actually a character flaw. Wally: Oh. No wonder people are so prickly about it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #antisocial, #conversation, #uncomfortable, #awkward, #Women, #technology, #discussion

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: It is hard to be a woman in this industry. Dilbert: I'll let you take this one. Wally: Got it. I'm short, bald, and nearsighted. I have no ambition, and I have all the sign of being a sociopath. I am unattractive and too old for the tech industry., I am shaped like a sad turnip and I do not make people laugh. Alice: What are you hens clucking about now? Tina: I can't begin to tell you how much I want to change the subject.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #unemployment, #replacement, #obsolete, #app, #job, #jobs, #dating, #logic, #business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #first impressions, #personality, #fake, #honesty, #negativity, #negative, #criticism, #dating, #attraction, #relationships, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented an external brain stimulator to regulate my moods. Woman: That means your personality is artificial. How can I be attracted to a fake person? Dilbert: Are you saying your baseline personality is an unpleasant drunk? Woman: What?

Wally Follows His Passion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Follows His Passion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #passion, #motivation, #Advice, #misunderstand, #misunderstanding, #attraction, #follow, #following

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm running low on motivation. What can you do for me? Boss: Follow your passion. Woman: Stop following me. Wally: Dream-killer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flirting, #dating, #negotiation, #rebuff, #rejection, #social media, #relationships, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Would you like to make out? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I take you on a date? Woman: No. Dilbert: Lunch? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I have your number so I can text you? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I be your Facebook friend? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I follow you on Twitter? Woman: Fine. But no retweeting. Dilbert: Can I favorite your tweets? Woman: Only if you wear a glove on your mouse hand.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #social, #social interaction, #honesty, #politeness, #overshare, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: So, tell me a little about yourself, and be totally honest. Dilbert: Totally honest? Okay... I like technology more than I like people. I don't believe in free will, soulmates, or following my passion. I think life is a brief, meaningless event in a random universe that doesn't care. I only associate with other people because I have biological and economical needs. I think all human actions are driven by selfishness. Woman: Uh... okay. Do you have any questions for me? Dilbert: Am I still being totally honest or should I act curious?