Anything Changes Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

435 Results for Anything Changes

View 61 - 70 results for anything changes comic strips. Discover the best "Anything Changes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #mentor, #mentorship, #competition, #honesty, #truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need some mentoring. Boss: This is awkward. On one hand, helping you would make me appear wise and generous. On the other hand, it would make you a more credible threat to take my job. I see you as more of an adversary than a subordinate. That's why I withhold vital information that you need to do your job. I've already said too much. Wally: Did you learn anything? Dilbert: Yes, unfortunately.

Only Work If You'd Rather Do Something Else

Thank you for voting.
Only Work If You'd Rather Do Something Else - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #fulfillment, #happiness, #satisfaction, #work ethic, #motivation, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Remember, it's only work if you'd rather be doing something else! Tina: I would rather do anything else. Boss: Oh. In that case, you're trapped in a nightmare that never ends. Tina: I have a lot riding on the afterlife.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #logic, #no-win, #deadline

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are these user specifications complete? I ask because any later changes will cause me to miss the deadline. Man: What if I only need a tiny change later? Wally: I'm counting on it. That way I can blame you when I miss the deadline. Man: How do most people handle this situation? Wally: Well, the pessimists know they're doomed, so it's no surprise to them when it happens. Man: What do the optimists do? Wally: They become pessimists.

Dashboard Never Changes

Thank you for voting.
Dashboard Never Changes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #deception, #trick, #technology, #status, #ruse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I noticed that the project dashboard you wrote for me never changes. Dilbert: That's because our projects are always doing great. Boss: It's a static image, isn't it? Dilbert: You're gonna wish you asked that three weeks ago.

Be Like Entrpreneurs

Thank you for voting.
Be Like Entrpreneurs  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #inspiration, #control, #entrepreneur, #risk

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to disrupt our entire industry. And we need to move quickly. But check with me before you do anything. I want you to think like entrepreneurs, but not like the brave ones. People: Can do.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #design, #engineering, #interface, #ui, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I simplified the user interface as you suggested. You wanted one button to do eleven different functions. It wasn't easy, but I think you'll be pleased. If you want me to turn up the volume... you hold the button down for exactly five seconds... then double-tap, and double-tap again. Then hold for exactly six seconds. Then press it all the way down, then halfway up, then 27 percent back down. And hold for nine seconds. Or you could admit that you don't know anything about interface design. Boss: Never!

Dilbert Cheats On His Work Wife

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Cheats On His Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work, #wife, #wives, #adultery, #cheating, #criticism, #nagging, #anger, #marriage, #roles, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: There' s rumor that you're cheating on me with another "work wife." Dilbert: I let Tina criticize me a little. But I swear it didn't mean anything. And... she makes me look for her lost keys. Alice: I knew it!

Wally Sees Tina On Tinder

Thank you for voting.
Wally Sees Tina On Tinder - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #tinder, #dating, #online dating, #attraction, #awkward, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Hey, I saw you on Tinder. Tina: Please don't say anything else. Please don't say anything else. Wally: I swiped left. Tina: Gaaa!

Ted Wonders If Boss Said Something

Thank you for voting.
Ted Wonders If Boss Said Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #panic, #worry

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I saw you talking to my boss. Did he say anything about my project? Dilbert: Um... Ted: Your hesitant response tells me you know something and he asked you not to tell me. Dilbert: Um... Ted: Is something terrible going to happen to me? Dilbert: Um...

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #election, #voting, #technology, #fraud, #cheating, #vote, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a contract to write software for voting machines. Dilbert: Who do you want to be president? Boss: Why do you ask? Dilbert: Because I want you to be happy. Boss: You're implying that you plan to fudge the system. Dilbert: I'm not implying anything like that. Obviously, it will be easy to fudge the data, and we are far happier when you're in a good mood. But I would never commit a crime just because it is good for ma and totally undetectable. Boss: Okay, good. Dilbert: So who do you want to win and by how much?