At Odds With Words Comic Strips - Page 7

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1000 Results for At Odds With Words

View 61 - 70 results for at odds with words comic strips. Discover the best "At Odds With Words" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted And His Laptop

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Ted And His Laptop - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, employment, fired, laptop, technology

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boss: today is your last day with the company, ted. so i need your company laptop back. ted: or else what? you'll fire me twice? boss: let's say you're not officially fired until you return the laptop. ted: and if i don't bring it back, will i never be fired? boss: um...

Reimagine Ted's Job

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Reimagine Ted's Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, job, new, pay, projects, reimagine, technology, compensation

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boss: ted, we need to reimagine your job. ted: i hope that means you will replace the boring parts of my job with exciting new projects. boss: it doesn't mean that. boss: does it mean doing the same work for higher pay?

Wally Answers Texts Later

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Wally Answers Texts Later  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, lazy, working, ignore, text, email, response, data

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asok: i rarely see you working. how do you get away with it? wally: it's easy. i just wait a day before answering any texts or emails. for example, here's alice asking if i can attend a meeting in an hour. i'll answer her in the morning and say i didn't see her message. And here's dilbert asking me for some data. tomorrow, i will text him to ask for clarification, and he will tell me he found the data on his own. asok: don't you feel guilty? wally: nah. they'd do the same to me. asok: and do they? wally: they would if i didn't ignore them first.

Married Zoomers

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Married Zoomers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, video conference, technology, zoom, anger, married, speakerphone, room, hear, distracting

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dilbert with laptop on video conference. voice from laptop yelling: stop using your speakerphone! i'm trying to make a zoom call! i can still hear you! go in the other room! i said go in the other room! dilbert: being married sounds fun. Voice from laptop: i can still hear you!

Thought Leader

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Thought Leader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, calendar, assistant, leader, delegation, thought, work, hands

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boss: ask my assistant to put it on my calendar. dilbert: why can't you just put it on your calendar right now? boss: i'm more of a thought leader. i don't like to work with my hands.

Wally Leaves Camera On

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Wally Leaves Camera On - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, video conference, zoom, inappropriate, camera, call

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boss with laptop on video conference. boss: um, wally. do you know your camera is on? boss is shaken and yelling: wally!!! no!!! gaaa!!! i can't unsee it! dilbert and wally in another room. dilbert: how was your zoom call? wally: i found a way to shorten it by an hour.

Dilbert Has To Be Right

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Dilbert Has To Be Right  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, exercise, arrogance, Right, therapy, health

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dilbert and tine walking. tina: you argue with everything because you just have to be right. dilbert: how can you tell the difference between someone who "has to be right" versus someone who is right and you need therapy? tina: you're doing it again. dilbert: or am i?

Dogbert Does Telemedicine

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Dogbert Does Telemedicine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, telemedicine, time, doctor, health, pain, rake, leaves, medicine

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dogbert: i started doing telemedicine in my spare time. Dilbert: don't you need to be a doctor to do that? dogbert: technically, yes. but i found a workaround. dilbert: which is? dogbert: i tell people i'm a doctor. patient: doctor, i have a sharp pain in the back of my thigh. dogbert: are you sitting on a rake? patient: that's a weird question. oh. wait, i am. what should i do? dogbert: try picking up leaves with your hands.

Zoom Happy Hour

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Zoom Happy Hour  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, zoom, happy hour, morale, department, alcohol, drinking, drunk

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boss on video conference with dilbert and alice. boss: we're going to start having zoom happy hour every weekday to boost morale. dilbert: you're the only one in the entire department who drinks alcohol. boss: you're all looshers. alice: did you already start drinking? boss: i love you!

Boss Hires Stalker

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Boss Hires Stalker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, technology, working, remote, stalker, window, homes

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boss on video conference with dilbert and wally. boss: it's challenging to manage employees who are working remotely. dilbert sitting in arm chair listening boss: so i hired a stalker to look in the windows at your homes and tell me what he sees. he lasted on day. wally sitting in chair wearing shorts and no shirt: sorry. that's on me.