Awkward Place Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for awkward place comic strips. Discover the best "Awkward Place" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excitement, #flattery, #respect, #companys success

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Customer Meeting CEO: The secret of our company's success is that we hire good people. Dilbert: What? Are you saying I'm good? I've never heard a compliment at work. What is that feeling inside me? Is it the thing called self-esteem? Customer: Awkward. CEO: Just ignore him. Dilbert: Behold my goodness!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #etiquette & ethics, #biggest customer, #random drug sample, #awkward

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Boss: Wally, I'd like you to meet the CEO of the company that is our biggest customer. Wally: I'd shake but I have coffee in one hand, my random drug test sample in the other, and I don't want either one to get cold. Hey, I'm not the one who made this awkward.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #ignorance (knowledge), #table tennis, #ping pong table, #central area, #disrupt floor, #questioning motivation

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CEO: Let's get a ping-pong table so we look like a great place to work. Put it in a central area that will disrupt the entire floor if anyone uses it. I just realized that I don't know why noise comes out of my mouth.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog, #facebook, #facebook page, #internet & world wide web, #linkedin, #stocks, #twitter, #websites, #work ethic, #working from home, #distractions, #animals

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Dilbert: I'm working at home today. It will be as if we're co-workers. Dogbert: Ugh. This madness must stop! You should check your Facebook page to see what's new. You should check Twitter. Dilbert: I'm almost finished with Facebook. Dogbert: Did you get my LinkedIn request? Dilbert: I'll check. Dogbert: I send you some links to funny websites. Dilbert: Cool! I just spent ten hours at my computer and I can't remember why I was sitting there in the first place. Dogbert: You were going to check your stocks. Dilbert: Okay. That sounds right. Two Hours Later. Two Hours Later. Two Hours Later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #angry, #hateful creature, #hope, #interviews, #job interview, #managers & supervisors, #monster, #optimisim, #smile, #toxic work place, #business

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Boss: You remind me of another young person I hired years ago. She was full of hope and optimism and she wore a permanent smile. Her name was Alice. As time passed, she devolved into an angry, hateful creature. No one knows what caused it. Interviewee: How long did it take? Boss: About a week. Interviewee: Apparently, you're a monster who creates a toxic workplace and you lack the self-awareness to realize it! Boss: Someone broke your record. Alice: Shut up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypocrisy, #golden rule, #test your rule, #hypocrite, #engineer, #hatred, #hypocricy, #manipulate, #engineering

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Boss: We can make this a great place to work by following the golden rule. Treat others as you would want them to treat you. Dilbert: That's dumb. Boss: It's not dumb! Dilbert: Let's test your rule. Would you like it if someone gave you a hundred dollars? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Okay. So give me a hundred dollars. Or else forever live as a hypocrite who doesn't follow his own rule. Wally: Snork! Alice: Snork! Boss: I hate your engineering guts!!! Dilbert: At least you're making sense now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #managers & supervisors, #exit imnterview, #pointy haired loser, #improve situation, #business

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Boss: Why do you want to leave your current job? Interviewee: My boss is a pointy-haired loser, but he's smart enough to know when he's being insulted right to his face. I'm looking to improve on that situation. Boss: You came to the right place.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #awkward, #emails, #karma, #texts, #voicemails, #plausible excuse

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Dilbert: Here's the guy who hasn't responded to any of my seventeen emails, nine texts, and four voicemails. It must be awkward sitting here now. Are you trying to concoct a plausible excuse for ignoring my messages? Say hello to karma.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actors & actresses, #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #opinions, #informed opinions, #hard data, #life is a lie

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Wally: I like to have opinions. But not informed opinions. It takes so much work to get informed that it defeats the whole point of having an opinion in the first place. Dilbert: What exactly do you think is the "point" of having an opinion? Wally: The point is that it feels good. Dilbert: That's totally nuts. Wally: Oh, is it? Unless you have hard data to back up that comment, it was nothing but an uninformed opinion. That felt good. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! You're starting to make sense! Wally: Your whole life is a lie.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #not helpful, #brush of unhelpfulness, #srigma, #issues, #monster

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Boss: Brian tells me you're not being helpful. Asok: Gaaa!!! You have been painted by the brush of unhelpfulness. There is no way to remove the stigma of this accusation. Wally: Watch and learn. Brian has... um... issues. Boss: Issues? What issues? Mental? Emotional? Substance abuse? Wally: I've said too much. It's not my place. Boss: He's a monster! Asok: You make it look easy!