Bad Airlines Comic Strips - Page 7
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684 Results for Bad Airlines
View 61 - 70 results for bad airlines comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Airlines" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 19,
2018
Sabotage The Plan
Tags #boss, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #plan, #sabatoge, #incompetent
Transcript
Dilbert: We know our boss's plan is a bad idea, but it's our job to execute anyway. Wally: Maybe we should try to sabotage the plan by being incompetent. Dilbert: Since when do you need a reason to be incompetent? Wally: It's more of a "nice but not necessary" situation.
Sunday November 18,
2018
Tags #boss, #engineering, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #schedule
Transcript
Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature. Boss: What took you so long? Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take. Boss: You're behind schedule. Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules. Boss: That's not how it works! Dilbert: What does that even mean? Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.
Tuesday November 13,
2018
Bad Mouthing Ted's Code
Tags #boss, #computer software, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology
Transcript
Boss: I want you to take over Ted's software upgrade. Can you finish that in a week? Dilbert: Are you kidding? It will take a week just to bad-mouth his existing code to everyone within walking distance. Boss: Is that part necessary? Dilbert: Like water to a fish.
Monday October 01,
2018
Use Company Products
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #asok, #alice, #attention, #products, #required, #use, #bad, #sign
Transcript
The Boss: It has come to my attention that none of you use the products we make. From now on you are all required to use our products. Asok: Aaaarg!!! Dilbert: Shoot me. The Boss: That's a bad sign. Wally: Nooo!!!
Sunday September 23,
2018
Tags #Wally, #the boss, #bad, #technology, #day, #phone, #freezing, #printer, #working, #network, #warning, #lights, #christmas, #tree, #laptop, #boot, #coincidence, #permission, #lock, #lead-line, #box, #hero
Transcript
Wally: I'm having a bad technology day. My phone keeps freezing, my printer isn't working, and our network is down. Wally: My car's warning lights look like a Christmas tree, and my laptop won't boot up. Maybe its all just coincidence but I don't think we can take that chance. May I have permission to lock myself in a lead-lined box to protect the rest of the company? The Boss: How will I know you're really in a lead-lined box? Wally: YOu'll know because your phone will be working fine. The Boss: My phone is still working that man is a hero.
Sunday August 26,
2018
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #draft, #same day, #sloth, #tardiness
Transcript
The Boss: I told you a week ago that I needed your first draft by today. This is exactly why I say bad things about you behind your back! I need employees I can rely on! Your tardiness and sloth cannot be rewarded. Dilbert: I gave you the first draft the same day you asked. In fact, I think you're holding it in your hand right now. The Boss: I'll be back when I figure out how this is still your fault.
Monday July 23,
2018
Only Two Bad Choices
Wednesday July 18,
2018
Elbonian Ninjas
Tags #controversy, #offense, #offensive, #threat, #murder, #ninja, #optimism
Transcript
Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.
Sunday July 15,
2018
Tags #deception, #deceit, #contract, #cost, #money
Transcript
Man: Here's my invoice for the extras. Dilbert: The invoice we already paid covered everything in the contract. Man: That only covered the costs I quoted with intentional clarity. There are other costs that I might have mentioned in the long and rambling explanation that was intentionally ambiguous. Dilbert: "Might have??" I'm sure you did not. Man: Sounds like your word against mine. Dilbert: And even if you did mention it, you just said it was intentionally ambiguous!!! Man: I don't think you want to tell your boss you're a bad listener. Boss: I thought we already paid this vendor. Dilbert: Did you forget all the extras I told you about?
Friday June 08,
2018
Good Day At Work
Tags #work, #morale, #engagment, #boredom, #anger, #frustration
Transcript
Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: On a good day, the frustration and anger solve for the boredom. Dogbert: What's a bad day like? Dilbert: Same as a good day but with more questions.