Boss Says Not Real Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss Says Not Real

View 61 - 70 results for boss says not real comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Says Not Real" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally And Truama

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally And Truama - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accident, #business, #news, #technology, #television, #trauma, #block, #defense, #video

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally putting on jacket: I'm taking the rest of the day off to recover from trauma. i accidentally saw a video clip from tv news. boss: can't you block that? wally: i tried, but they keep finding ways to sneak it past my defenses.

View more books now

We Have No Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
We Have No Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #strategy, #meeting, #complain, #cheap, #jealous, #wisdom

View Transcript

Transcript

boss wearing face mask: i hired a guy to complain at every meeting by saying, "we have no strategy."mi got him cheap because that's all he does. dilbert wearing face mask: some would say we don't need him. boss: maybe they're jealous of his wisdom. office worker thinking: no strategy

Bad Judge Of Character

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad Judge Of Character - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #bad, #judge, #character, #hire, #termite, #clothes, #disguise, #youtube, #makeup, #video

View Transcript

Transcript

boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.

Deep Disrespect For Authority

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Deep Disrespect For Authority - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #managers & supervisors, #question, #weakness, #disrespect, #authority, #surprise

View Transcript

Transcript

boss wearing face mask: what would you say are your weaknesses? office worker: i have a deep disrespect for authority. boss: but...you don't act on it, right? office worker: let's not take the surprise out of it.

No Raise In Years

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Raise In Years - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #job, #raise, #nine, #years, #face mask, #employment

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: i've been working here for nine years, and you haven't given me a single raise! boss: i didn't even know you worked for me. obviously, you didn't do anything useful, or i would have noticed. office worker: well, in that case, i'm glad i didn't give my name.

Manage With Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manage With Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analysis, #business, #data, #face maks, #leadership, #manage, #managers & supervisors, #paralysis, #technology, #useable

View Transcript

Transcript

boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.

Reasonable Assumptions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reasonable Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #plan, #reasonable, #unreasonable, #assumptions, #job, #face mask, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert wearing face mask: i ran the numbers, and your plan does not work under any reasonable set of assumptions. boss wearing face mask: have you tried "unreasonable assumptions?" dilbert: why would i do that? boss: well, to keep your job, for example.

No Talk About Morale

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Talk About Morale - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #morale, #talk, #engagement, #workplace, #culture, #happy, #question, #covid, #pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.

People Believe Anything

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Believe Anything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #business, #people, #believe, #anything, #whisper, #campaign, #rival, #management, #dumb, #covid, #pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

all parties wearing face masks. boss: i'm starting a whisper campaign against my rival in management. i want you to tell people he buys babies from the poor and eats them. dilbert: no one is dumb enough to believe that. boss: people will believe anything. dilbert: not anything. boss: yes, anything. dilbert: fine. i'll try it, but only to prove how wrong you are. office worker: how many does he eat per day? dilbert thinking: i need a new planet.

Boss Wins In Arbitration

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Wins In Arbitration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accused, #arbitration, #bribery, #business, #covid, #employment, #fired, #job, #pandemic, #racism, #rotten, #system, #white supremacist, #Win

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and carol wearing face masks. boss: i was falsely accused of being a white supremacist and fired. but i won in arbitration and got my job back! carol: how did you win? boss: bribery. once you realize the whole system is rotten, it's easier.