Boss Threatens Alice Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for boss threatens alice comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Threatens Alice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Email Versus Meeting

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Email Versus Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #meeting, #email, #hugs, #e-card, #co-workers

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dilbert: is there anything you plan to do in this meeting that we couldn't have done more easily by email. alice, boss & dilbert sitting at table saying nothing. boss: hugs? dilbert: send me an e-card.

Slide Deck Too Well Designed

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Slide Deck Too Well Designed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #tasks, #well-designed

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boss: your slide deck is too well-designed. it suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important. asok: you don't give me important tasks. boss: that's no excuse for good design.

Cancelled Presentation

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Cancelled Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #business, #cancelled, #presentation, #meeting, #happy

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dilbert looking disheveled: i wooed all night to finish the presentation you need for this morning. boss: oh. that meeting got canceled. dilbert upset and yelling: when exactly did you hear of that? boss: it won't make you happier if i tell you.

Marketing Complains

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Marketing Complains - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #marketing, #complain, #moronic, #fired

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boss: marketing is complaining that you're not using their ideas. dilbert: that's because all of their ideas are moronic. boss: i told them i fired you. don't leave your cubicle or use any digital devices until this blows over.

Knowing What Wally Does

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Knowing What Wally Does - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #job, #projects, #expectations, #heuristics

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boss: i can't give you a good performance review because you haven't performed up to expectations. wally: do you even know what my job is? boss: of course i do. you're an engineer. wally: yes, but do you know what projects i'm working on? boss: well, various things, and some miscellaneous things too. wally: how can you determine my job performance when you don't know what my job is? boss: have you heard of heuristics? you're bad at everything i've observed, so i assume you are bad at everything else as well. wally: you should have started with that.

Bring Me Solutions

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Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #solutions, #problems, #worthless, #sarcasm, #example

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boss: i want you to bring me solutions, not problems! dilbert: that's a funny way to call yourself worthless. boss: i do plenty around here! boss: but in the interest of time, i will not list any examples.

Alice Would Complain

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Alice Would Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2020's comic on:


Tags #complain, #managers & supervisors, #assignment, #business, #technology, #problem, #solve

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boss: i was going to give this assignment to alice, but i know she would complain about it. dilbert reading paper: i don't want it either. boss: do you plan to complain about it later? dilbert: not to your face. boss: problem solved.

Buzzflawed Interview

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Buzzflawed Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managment, #business, #reporter, #cheat, #suppliers, #question

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carol: a reporter for buzz flawed wants to interview you. boss: i don't see any downside to that! reporter: my first question is, do you still cheat all of your suppliers? boss: no! of course not. reporter: so. you're admitting you cheated your suppliers in the past? boss: get out of my office, you evil monster! reporter: okay, i got what i needed. one week later: voice from boss's smartphone: "the pudgy miscreant could not hide his glee when bragging about cheating his suppliers."

Donating To Politicians

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Donating To Politicians - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #Politics, #government, #campaign, #bribe, #faith, #drones, #guns, #sarcasm

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dilbert, boss and alice at table boss: i donated to a few campaigns, and coincidentally a law changed that i wanted changed. now it's legal for us to sell drones that are armed with machine guns. dilbert: i've never had less faith in my government. boss: i also got us a tax break.

Illegal To Sell Armed Drones

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Illegal To Sell Armed Drones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #illegal, #armed, #drones, #private, #citizens, #sell, #business, #technology, #bribe, #law

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boss: i just learned it's illegal to sell armed drones to private citizens. how many orders did we get since we started selling them this morning? dilbert: seventy million. boss: i'll look into bribing someone to change the law.