Call Wife Comic Strips - Page 7

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590 Results for Call Wife

View 61 - 70 results for call wife comic strips. Discover the best "Call Wife" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Time Before Next Meeting

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No Time Before Next Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #care, #co-workers, #hate, #job, #lesson, #meeting, #nonesence, #procrastinate, #reality, #report, #stupid, #technical, #technology, #time

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dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.

Mandatory Blockchain Class

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Mandatory Blockchain Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #class, #mandatory, #blockchain, #introductory, #experienced, #developer, #instructor, #phone call

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boss: you haven't completed the mandatory class on blockchain. dilbert: that's an introductory class. i'm already an experienced blockchain developer. boss: the class is mandatory. every developer needs to check the box. dilbert: just check the box for me. boss: only the instructor can do that. and i don't want to call him because he rambles on and on. dilbert looking distressed: you want me to take a two-day class so you won't have to make a phone call? boss: i knew you'd understand. dilbert: what if taking the class causes me to miss my deadlines? boss: no problem. i'll just cancel your bonus.

Bring Me Solutions

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Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #solutions, #problems, #worthless, #sarcasm, #example

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boss: i want you to bring me solutions, not problems! dilbert: that's a funny way to call yourself worthless. boss: i do plenty around here! boss: but in the interest of time, i will not list any examples.

Wally Uses Deep Fake

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Wally Uses Deep Fake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #video, #conference, #call, #technology, #elbonian, #affordable

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dilbert: i liked what you said on the video conference call yesterday. i've never seen you so engaged and helpful. wally: that wasn't me. that was "deep fake wally." i created him to do all of my video calls. and i hired an elbonian to do all my coding jobs for a very affordable price. wally: these days. i only come to the office for the free coffee. dilbert: and the camaraderie? wally: sure.

Technical Difficulties

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Technical Difficulties - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technical, #difficulties, #meeting, #business, #conference, #call, #audio, #technology

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boss: how'd your meeting go? dilbert: we spent an hour trying to get the conference call audio to work. boss: and then? dilbert: it was a one-hour meeting.

Adding Insult To Injury

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Adding Insult To Injury  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #tech support, #customer, #calls, #interface, #reboot, #idiot

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boss: i hired the dogbert tech support team to help with customer calls because our user interface is so sadistic. dilbert: wouldn't that be adding insult to injury? boss: how so? dogbert in a office at a desk yelling: try rebooting, you idiot. and don't call again!

Conference Call

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Conference Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #conference call, #meeting, #useful, #don't care

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wally: how did your conference call go? dilbert: normal. it took us twenty minutes to get everyone connected, followed by forty minutes of garbled speech that no one understood. the meeting ended when everyone got tired of pretending something useful was happening. wally: i didn't really care.

Elbonian Spy

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Elbonian Spy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #elbonian, #spy, #engineers, #economy, #intellectual, #property, #collaborate

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boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?

What If You Are In A Coma

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What If You Are In A Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cell phone, #client, #stupid, #liar, #insult, #understand, #die, #coma

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phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.

The Opinionated Old Guy

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The Opinionated Old Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #internet & world wide web, #old, #Opinion

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the opinionated old guy: that idea will never work! unless you know some kind of "magic" that sends data through the air. dilbert: i call it wi-fi. opinionated old guy: pffft! no one wants that.