Claim Success Comic Strips - Page 7

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205 Results for Claim Success

View 61 - 70 results for claim success comic strips. Discover the best "Claim Success" comics from Dilbert.com.

Embellishing Resumes

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Embellishing Resumes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #resume, #lying, #deception, #accomplishments, #management, #success

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Catbert: I discovered that one of your employees embellished on his resume. Boss: That's outrageous! Fire him for lying to me! Catbert: I'm talking about the version he updated today. It says he accomplished things while working for you. Boss: That doesn't sound right.

Wally Does Economic Babble Talk

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Wally Does Economic Babble Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #bitcoins, #confusion, #conversation, #economics, #jargon, #success, #the fed

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Wally: Do you think The Fed should liquidate its Bitcoins or let the dollar float with Libor rates? Boss: Maybe we could just sit quietly until the others arrive. Wally: Success.

Wall The Company Taint

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Wall The Company Taint - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Promotion, #manager, #taint, #success

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Wally: You're looking at the new vice president of zombie projects. The projects that will neither succeed nor be canceled are transferred to me so the other VP's avoid their taint. Alice: I guess that makes you the company's taint. Wally: I wear that label proudly.

Wally Is Not Hungry To Succeed

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Wally Is Not Hungry To Succeed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mentor, #mentoring, #protege, #wages, #executives, #ceos, #compensation, #work ethic, #success, #money

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CEO: I've been mentoring you for a week. Do you feel different? Wally: Yes. Spending time with you makes me feel underpaid. CEO: And that makes you hungry to succeed? Wally: I don't even see how those things are connected.

How To Make Money While Adding No Value

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How To Make Money While Adding No Value - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ceos, #mentor, #mentors, #mentoring, #protege, #success, #merit, #qualification, #luck money, #wages, #earning, #earn, #money, #salary

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CEO Mentors Wally. CEO: How would you like me to mentor you, underling? Wally: Can you teach me how to make $25 million per year while adding no value to the company? CEO: I don't know how to teach you that. Wally: Was it all luck or did you have to kill people?

Fifty Tips For Success

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Fifty Tips For Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #career advice, #obliviousness, #secret, #success, #tech millionaire

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Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.

Success Is About Who You Know

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Success Is About Who You Know - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #blame, #blaming, #success, #who you know

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Wally: Success is all about who you know. I'm not successful, so apparently it doesn't help to know you. Dilbert: I"m sorry I let you down. Wally: It's as if you aren't even trying.

Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes

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Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2014's comic on:


Tags #clothing, #decision, #decision-making, #inventions, #success, #thinking, #tube clothes, #eliminate decisions, #mark zuckerberg, #gray t-short, #success secrets

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Dilbert: I call my invention "tube clothes." The idea is to eliminate as many daily decisions as possible, the way Mark Zuckerberg does with his gray t-shirt. I like to understand what makes people successful. Dogbert: And you narrowed it down to his shirt?

Carol Has Passion For Her Job

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Carol Has Passion For Her Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #boredom, #boring, #email, #fake passion, #forwarded email, #mindless, #passion, #success, #warren buffet, #work ethic

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Carol: Warren Buffett says my career will be better if I show passion for my job. I'll have to fake the passion because everything I do in this job is mindless and boring. Later. Carol: Woo-hoo! I forwarded an email!

Donuts 'N Vodka

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Donuts 'N Vodka - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cognitive control, #hiring, #job interview, #self control, #temptation, #prediction of success, #donut, #laptop, #bottle vodka, #resist

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Catbert: Your experience is impressive, but a better predictor of success is your cognitive control. I will leave you for ten minutes with a donut, a laptop full of inappropriate videos, and a bottle of vodka. Try to resist them. Man: Yee-ha! Mmm-mm! Catbert: Do not go in there.